Watch how you treat everyone...others are already watching.

A deacon from my first pastorate was having his 90^th birthday.  The invitation was sent to let us know of the celebration.  They were not really expecting us to make the 11 hour drive and personally attend.  They just wanted to let us know of the event.  Although we have been away for over 30 years we have precious memories and special relationships from that church so we decided to go. 

That meant Cathy needed to see her hairdresser before the trip.  I don’t need to explain.  Ladies, you all understand and men don’t get it and don’t care.  Anyway, as she arrived for her appointment her hairdresser was just finishing with another customer.  As the customer was paying the hairdresser Cathy immediately recognized her first grade classmate.  Although they had not seen one another in over 50 years, she approached Cathy and gently placed her hand on her shoulder saying, “You have been a blessing to me!”  Cathy tried to jog her memory to remember why she would have been a blessing to someone over so many years.  Heck, I’m impressed that she remembered the name of a classmate from 1^st grade.  I need name tags for people I saw last week…or sometimes yesterday…or earlier today.  Anyway, the woman looked Cathy in the eye and said, “I was chubby in those days and you were always kind to me.”  Elementary school can be cruel for those who are easy targets for name calling and bullying.  Cathy’s kind behavior, at age 6, was remembered as a life-long blessing to this lady. 

When she came home and told me of this encounter I thought, “WOW, what a great testimony of how a small act of kindness can go a long way!”  Cathy has the Spiritual gift of mercy and helps.  She was already a believer at age 6 and was practicing her gifts of the Spirit.  God seems to draw her attention to those who need a touch of mercy, kindness or help.  She goes out of her way to be kind and show attention to those who are often overlooked and bypassed by most as we hurry about our lives.  In our often unnecessary and self-created frenzy we fail to notice and show human kindness to the one who takes our order in a restaurant, the boy who bags our groceries or the custodian quietly doing their work.   She notices those who seem forgotten and may need an encouraging word.  Even those, like me, who have different gifts can learn and practice more kindness by watching the kind and compassionate acts of others.  I know because I have been watching what she has been doing for some 40 years. 

As we made the journey and arrived at the birthday celebration we were blessed to see so many special friends.  Most of whom we had not seen in over 30 years but we picked up exactly where we left off.  It was a joy to see so many who accepted a young fledgling minister and loved him as one of their own family.  That is what church and Christian’s are supposed to do.  We are to ‘love our neighbor (fellowman) as we love ourselves.’  We are to love one another no matter what ethnic, economic or educational group that may define any of us.  I must admit that there were some who were not thrilled with my time there as their pastor.  There are always those whose favorite pastor is the last one or the next one.  However, it was gratifying as people came and expressed how much we meant to them while we were there.  Treating people the way that Jesus treats us is never forgotten. 

  

I learned early and continue to learn from the Parable of the Sower or Soils (either name is correct).  This was one of the favorite parables of Jesus.  He repeated it in 3 of the 4 Gospels.  The same sower sows the same seed on four different soils.  Among many other truths I learned from the parable, I understood that I am to treat everyone the same way.  I also realized that everyone will not have the same response.  Three of the four different soils had a negative response to the same seed from the same sower.  There are some, like the unproductive soils, who are clinging to too much baggage, too much hardness or too many other interests in their lives to be kind, positive and productive.  Everyone will not respond in kindness but if you treat everyone with the same love and compassion you will be blessed by the response of those who are ‘the good soil’.  They make it all worth the effort. 

I will close with one more example of how we need to watch how we treat others because others are already watching us.  Cathy was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis early in our marriage.  It is an incurable chronic digestive disorder.  There are not many medical tests or exams that are enjoyable but, as you can imagine, the tests required to discover such a disease are not pleasant.   We had been in the hospital for several days and were both weary.  I was trying to be the dutiful compassionate new husband sleeping in the recliner but she was the one enduring the difficult series of tests. 

The sun was rising as the oncologist entered her hospital room.  It seemed that he was making his morning rounds earlier than normal.  We were just waking from another restless night.  He was gazing at her file in his hand as he asked, “How are we this morning?”  Cathy did not respond, as would most, telling the doctor of her ailments and restless night.  She surprised him with, “I’m OK.  How are you?  You look tired!”  Stunned, he paused and looked up saying, “Thank you for asking.  I am tired.  It was a long night.  I lost one of my patients last night.”  Not many people ask or really care how their doctor is doing when they are sick and hospitalized.  However Cathy took her attention away from herself and noticed that her doctor seemed tired.  She looked past her discomfort and saw a man grieving the death of one he had cared for and tried to heal.  The doctor now needed care and a healing touch.  He got it from one who took the time to notice and share the compassion of Christ.  I sat in up in the recliner in the corner of the room as I, the young minister, watched and learned how we should always look to serve others even as we are being served.  We need watch how we treat everyone…others already are watching. 

Today, as you go about your daily activities slow down and notice the people around you.  Look at those who are often overlooked.  Even if it takes you out of your normal routine try to show kindness, and compassion reflecting the love of Christ to everyone you come across.  You never know how much they may need it or how it may impact them.  Kindness to a ‘chubby girl’ in the 1^st grade over 50 years ago was remembered as a lifetime blessing. 

We need watch how we treat everyone…others already are watching. 

The Paradox of Life

It was a notable weekend.  On Friday Randy Pausch died.  He was a little known young (age 47) college professor who came to fame as his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer became a launching pad for his book; ‘The Last Lecture’.  Randy looked at making the most of each moment his rapidly ending life saying, “We don't beat the reaper by living longer, we beat the reaper by living well and living fully.”   I like that philosophy but I love the way Jesus said it better; “The thief comes to rob, steal, kill and destroy.  I come that you may have life and have it more abundantly.”  It’s no coincidence that John 10:10 was the text of my first sermon some 40 years ago.  It remains the philosophy of my life to this day.   

Age has slowed my velocity from racing through life like a sprinter to taking the pace of a marathon runner who seeks to maintain the energy for a good finish.  A friend once asked me why I was so driven.  I take God seriously when He says what we do matters now and for all eternity.  I want to make the most of each moment.  I don’t know which moment will be my last so it’s vital to make each one count.   I have preached, taught and studied much over my life on the indescribable life God has awaiting his children after this life is over.  However, there are things I enjoy now that I think I will miss.  There is no mention of ice cream, cookies or pasta in Heaven.  I am reminded of a ministers’ conference where the speaker was speaking on the way fear chokes the joy of life for many.  He asked us to make a list of the things we fear.  People around me were writing furiously as they expanded their list of fears.  The person next to me noticed that I had stopped writing.  My list had one sentence, “I’m afraid that I might miss something!”  As I am fond of saying, “I want to enjoy every day of life on this earth as much as possible because I am going to be dead a long time.” 

Back to that weekend, Randy Pausch died on Friday.  On Saturday I addressed the crowd of some 500 people who had gathered because a young mother (age 45) had died suddenly in a tragic automobile accident.  Although the memorial was held because she died we really were there because of the way she lived.  There were tears indeed but the focus was on her lasting smile, zest for life and the eternal reflection of Christ that embodied her daily life.  She was being remembered for the way she lived a loving and joyful life. 

The next day, Sunday, I preached a sermon previously planned and prepared long before I knew of the events that would occur on the previous two days, such is the way of God leading pastors with their messages.  The title of the message was ‘Enjoy the Ride’.  It focused on trusting God with life and making the most of life through all the turmoil in this imperfect world.  As an illustration I shared that life’s best vessel is more like a sail boat or a kayak following the flow and often unexpected changes of life brought on by following what I call the “wind of the Spirit” (from John 3:8).  Life can certainly give us some unexpected turns and we never really know what may be around the bend.  I learned to enjoy kayaking during my seminary days as I was learning how to deal with and teach others to navigate the changing currents of life. 

It is better to have a life vessel (philosophy or belief system) that allows one to maneuver and adjust quickly rather than the institutional bulk of an aircraft carrier that has the stuff to survive most storms but can’t turn and be as flexible as life often requires.  It’s that flexibility that allows one to navigate and enjoy the rough waves and find joy in the still waters and turbulent waves of life.  The same river can contain smooth peaceful water and dangerous rapids, both of which may come unexpectedly and in rapid fashion.  Such can be the journey of life. 

Anne Lamontt writes about the paradox of life and truth in her latest book, ‘Almost Everything.’  The book describes how, ‘Despair and uncertainty surround us in the news, in our families, and in ourselves.  But even when life is at its bleakest, the seed of rejuvenation are at hand.’  She says, “I am stockpiling antibiotics for the apocalypse, even as I await the blossoming of paperwhites on the windowsill in my kitchen.  All truth really is paradox, and this turns out to be a reason for hope.  If you arrive at a place in life that is miserable, it will change.”  ‘That is the time when we must pledge not to give up but, “in the Wendell Berry words, ‘be joyful though you have considered all the facts.” ‘  

I concluded my sermon and that notable weekend with some of my favorite ‘theology’ and philosophy for life that I learned from the Snake River Kayak Rules:

1. Go with the flow & don’t get addled-lean back.

2. If worse comes, let go of everything you’ll come up.

3. Danger is part of the trip. Enjoy the ride. 

If we trust our lives to God we can and should go with the flow (following the wind of the Holy Spirit).  When the worst comes, we can trust Jesus as our life preserver.  Always remember that this is a sin-scared world.  Good and bad things can happen, often in short succession or even at the same time.  However, in the midst of the paradox of the topsy-turvy life on this planet, there is no place safer than trusting God and being smack in the middle of His will. Enjoy the ride! 

Press On

Hi, my name is Bill and I have a secret confession to make.  I have been in a ‘spiritual funk’ for a while.  That is not a term I learned at seminary but I believe it is one with which many can identify, even if it is difficult to admit in public.  Most of us, especially those who profess to be Christian, are led to believe that we should always present a positive spin and outlook no matter what is going on in our lives or in the world around us.  I can remember being puzzled and confused years ago by what I called ‘Praise the Lord Anyway’ people at seminary and church.  You may know the type.  I think they mean well but it seems that they never get past a superficial smile, a trite saying or shallow quote and never seem to have a thought deeper than the first step of a wading pool. 

They are the type who will pat you on the back when you are going through a devastating time and say something like; “It will be OK!”, “God has a plan.”, “All things happen for a purpose.”, or “God must have a lot of faith in you to give you such a burden.”  You may want to write my seminaries and seek to have my Masters and Doctorate ministry degrees revoked but there are times when I would like to smack those words with a 9 iron.  In my anger I would probably swing too hard and miss with my driver.   After a more civil breath I really just want to respond with; “No, it will never be OK.  Things will never be the same.  I know God always has a plan and purpose but at this moment I am struggling and in pain and I WOULD LIKE SOME KIND OF A CLUE!” 

There are times when life gives us such a punch in the gut that no matter how sincere we may be in our faith we know things will never be the same in our lives again.  We may find ways to cope and go on and sometimes we believe we will eventually find a blessing in the mess but for now we just wonder “Why?” or we just need to cry and be sad.  Being sad in sad situations is OK.  In fact, it is natural.  I went through a long period of sadness when my mother died suddenly at age 68.  I still have sad times when I miss her and think of the things she missed that she would have loved.  I was saddened to see my father decline as he came to the point where he could not take care of himself and moved into our home.  It was sad to see the man who was my childhood hero, who seemed to be able to do anything he set his mind on doing now not being able to do menial things in taking care of himself.  I am saddened as we see the same deterioration with my father and mother-in-law.  I admit being sad and sometimes having my faith shaken when I know the testimonies of faithfulness exhibited by my parents and that of my wife’s parents and see how they deteriorated and still suffer in their last days.   

While I am at it, I might as well admit I also become distressed when friends and family members die at an early age.  I guess it is hard for me to realize that I am at that age…you know the one our elders used to joke about…when you read the obituaries and don’t see your name, you know it is a good day.  However, it seems that when I arrived in my mid-60’s the obituaries regularly contain the names of friends and family…many my age or younger.  The latest was two days ago.  She was 6 months older than me.  It’s not really that I am afraid of dying.  I like the Woodie Allen quote, “I am not afraid of dying.  I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”  I just get tired of seeing the effect on those family members and loved ones left behind. 

As I make this confession of periods of struggles with my faith, I don’t think I am alone.  In fact, I know that others struggle with the same or similar issues and questions of faith.  Mother Teresa wrote letters that revealed a 40 year crisis of faith.  She wrote of feeling unwanted & unloved by God.  She even admitted that she had begun to doubt the existence of heaven and God.  In one missive she wrote, “I call, I cling, I want, and there is no one to answer, no, no one. Alone. Where is my faith? even deep down right in there is nothing. I have no faith. I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd in my heart.”  Anyone who has even the slightest heart of compassion cannot avoid such questions when faced with human suffering in any form. 

Even Jesus, when in the midst of unjustly being tortured and executed on the cross with the suffering of all humanities’ sin placed on him, felt forsaken by God as he cried out; "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46).  So don’t fret if you, like me, go through some of these times and feelings.  There are times when, like Mother Teresa, that these dark times seem to linger too long. 

The word crisis comes from the Greek KRISIS (decision) and KRINEIN (decide). A crisis of belief is a turning point where you must decide what you believe about God.  Paul writes about dealing with his ‘crisis of faith’ in Philippians 3 where he admits that he does not have it all worked out yet; “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

So, if/when you have times like Paul and me when you have those ‘dark nights of the soul’ and have not got it all worked out yet or when you feel that God has forsaken you, like Mother Teresa, Jesus, and I have felt don’t give up.  In those times, remember that you are not alone.  Also, like Paul, all I know that I (we) can do is “Press On” and…gosh I can’t believe I am saying this…”Praise the Lord anyway!”