68

It was an early morning in West Point, MS on June 24, 1952 when we met.  I met her first and him a little later.  In those days expectant fathers had to wait in a separate room.   A nurse came in and told him he had a son and both mother and child were well.  It was 68 years ago so I don’t really remember my first impression of Jack and Dot Drees but I will always remember the lasting impression they had, and still have on my life.  Both have been physically absent from this world for many years now.  He has been gone for 10 years and she left us far too early 23 years ago.  She was 68.  Today is my 68^th birthday. 

This is all significant to me for several reasons.  First it’s my continual reminder that life is precious, fragile, fleeting and uncertain.  Mom was in great health.  To my knowledge she was only a hospital patient twice in her life; first on that June morning in 1952 when we met 68 years ago and then two years later when she and my sister met for the first time.  On June 14, 1997 she and dad were winding down a fun Saturday with family and friends.  It was the day before Father’s Day.  Before going to bed she came to dad as he was in his recliner flipping channels on the TV remote control.  Men often finish the day in the recliner flipping through the channels before turning the TV off and going to bed.  Men don’t watch one channel as much as they want to know what else is on.  Anyway, mom came to him and said, “I am going to give your Father’s Day card and gift a little early”.  As he was looking at the card she said, “I have a sharp pain in my head”.  She slumped in her recliner and those were her last words.  A massive cerebral aneurysm changed everything for our family that night. 

I think about that night often.  I especially thought about it when I was told I had three aneurysms just before my 49^th birthday.  Thanks to some divine intervention, two lifesaving major surgeries from a great surgeon and his team I am here for birthday number 68.  If interested a more detailed story of that event is in the blog archives for 2011 entitled ‘Ten Years Later’.  Back to today; now that I am the same age as mom was when she died and having experienced survival from aneurysms I am thoughtful and thankful for the things I learned from her life and death. 

From her death, as mentioned previously, I learned that life is precious, fragile, fleeting and uncertain.  None of us know what the next moment will bring or how long we will live.  Therefore I am continually encouraged to follow the advice from John 10:10 to ‘live abundantly’ and make the most of each moment.  Life is too short to hold on to anger, hurt feelings, fear, worry, anxiety and destructive thoughts or behavior.  Let go of all that is negative or destructive and celebrate each moment.  Cherish each moment with family and friends while you can.  I miss mother because she was such fun to be with but I’m glad for each moment we had and happy that when we parted we were on great terms. 

From her life, I learned the importance of being a peacemaker.  Mom was the peacemaker of our family.  I have cherished memories of growing up in a harmonious family.   I have often said that I am blessed with memories of growing up in the happiest family I knew.  I have no memories of mom and dad arguing.  I am certain that happened but I don’t remember any major disagreements in front of my sister and me.  While I have memories of joking, laugher and having fun growing up there were the typical minor disagreements either between brother and sister or parents with teenage children.  So there was, as in every family and group in society, a need for a peacemaker.  In our family that was mom.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” (Matthew 5:9).  The dictionary defines a peacemaker as, “a person who helps others solve a conflict and reach a peaceful solution”.  One doesn’t have to look very far today to see the need for more peacemakers.  Jesus describes this is the character trait of “a child of God”.  True children of God pursue harmony and peace as they seek to lead others to the same type of reconciled life. 

These two things I learned from mother’s life and death actually go hand in hand.  When we remember that life is precious, fragile, fleeting and uncertain we will try to make the most of each day and seek to be at peace with God and our fellowman.   We cannot truly live abundantly if we are not in harmony with God and our fellowman.  1 John 1:9 tells us that if we confess our misdeeds to God, He will forgive and cleanse us from all wrongdoing.  It is simple really, if you have wronged God, confess it to Him and receive his grace.  If you have wronged someone, confess your mistake(s) and seek a peaceful reconciliation ASAP.  If someone had wronged you, forgive them ASAP.  It’s not rocket science!

Mother didn’t get to attend college.  She rarely traveled more than a few hundred miles from home and never visited another country.  She never wrote a book, a song or was a political leader.  However, she was known to bring laughter, joy, and peace wherever she went.  When she died over 500 people came to express what she meant to them.  She is still remembered with a smile by all that knew her.  So, as I enter my 68^th year, which was her last year, I plan to make the most of each day living abundantly in peace, joy and harmony.  Why not join with me?

Hold On To All That Is Good

We live in very confusing times and it seems to be getting worse rather than better.  I have to admit that am becoming more skeptical of everything every day.  I have stopped watching the news.  I once thought it was important to stay informed but now it seems as if each network or program has a very different version or presentation of what is going on in the world.  Each one appears to try to make things more alarming to keep viewers tuned in to their program or I get the impression that they are simply seeking to sway viewers to their agenda or point of view.  I remember growing up listening to Walter Cronkite to find out what was happening in the world.  He was a liberal Democrat who went sailing with the Kennedys but one never could discern that from his broadcast.  You could trust a more objective presentation of the day’s important events as he concluded with, “And that’s the way it is”.

I don’t even trust the weather forecast anymore.   When they predict storms I think, “it may rain…or maybe not.”  I go back to my dad’s ‘rope method’ of discerning the weather.  You hang a rope out the window and when you pull it in you can know the weather.  If the rope is wet…rain.  If the rope is warm or cold, so is the weather outside.  If it is white…snow!  I know, I know…but it was his sense of humor. 

I remember watching a forgettable movie but was captivated by the following dialogue between a college professor, Coleman, and his friend, Nathan, who was a burned out author isolating himself in a cabin in the woods after becoming disillusioned with everything; NATHAN: “What's the moment called in Greek tragedy, you know, the one where the hero learns that everything he knows is wrong?” COLEMAN: “Peripeteia.”  NATHAN: “That's me. I've come to the woods to lick my wounds.”

PERIPETEIA (Also spelled peripetea is the Greek term for "sudden change") is the sudden reversal of fortune in a story, play, or any narrative in which there is an observable change in direction. In tragedy, this is often a change from stability and happiness toward the destruction or downfall of the protagonist.  I have to admit that the scene stuck with me as I often find myself questioning everything I know and things I have learned in the past.  Perhaps I was too innocent and naïve in the past or else the world around me seemed to have been less volatile and more understandable.  Now almost everything seems to be questionable, unclear or ambiguous.  How can you know who or what to trust?

I have heard famous and eloquent preachers say things that sound convincing but I have also had enough training in that area to know that what was just proclaimed was not necessarily scriptural truth.  As happens with many news programs sometimes preachers also can become more interested in advancing their program, ego, and agenda than proclaiming the unvarnished truth.   Whether it is a famous newscaster, preacher or even your local meteorologist, it is hard to know who to trust.  (you can’t say weatherman anymore without being considered sexist but that is another discussion for another day).  So, again, the question how can you know who or what to trust?  It is the age old question asked by Pilate 2000 years ago as he faced Jesus; “What is truth?” (John 18:38)

Don’t fret, I think it is good to question and not be too easy to trust anyone and everything.  Scripture tells us to “examine everything carefully and hang on to what is good.” (1 Thessalonians 5:21).  When I was a pastor I told my listeners to be careful with everything they hear.  Just because it sounds good and seems to be coming from a reliable source, it is still wise to question and examine everything carefully for yourself.  I offered the following; “If you hear something from me that sounds questionable.  Search it out and research it for yourself.  If you find out that I am wrong call me up and we will go to lunch.  Show me my mistake and I’ll pick up the check!”  I was, and still am, interested in the truth…even if it changes what I always thought or believed.  I have always been wary of anyone who is not open to a challenge to their thoughts or opinion.  I prefer being open minded, always ready to learn new things rather than the stubborn closed minded thinking such as; “Don’t bother me with the facts.  I have my mind made up!”

Be a very careful listener to everything.  Notice the subtle ways that ‘truth, facts and ideas’ may be presented and don’t be afraid to have some healthy skepticism.  I have noticed a term that has become popular but I consider dangerous as people now want to tell “my truth” or “their truth”.  Truth is not possessed or owned by any individual.  I know what they are really presenting is their version of the truth but phrasing it in such a way grabs my attention because once someone becomes fixed in ‘their truth’ they are no longer open to the actual truth, which may oppose or differ from ‘their truth’. 

A younger pastor in a small rural church asked me to come and help with a controversial issue in his church.  I told them we were going to look at the teaching in its original language, cultural and historical context and discern the truth that it is conveying to us today.  Immediately a lady on the front row closed her Bible and crossed her arms showing a scowl and body language revealing, “I am closed off to anything you are saying.”  After presenting and explaining the actual meaning of the verses I gave time to reflect.  In a few minutes an older gentleman who had grown up in the church leaned forward and said, “You mean we may have had it preached to us wrong all these years?”  I smiled and welcomed his openness to seeking truth and said, “Maybe so.”  That same Bible the lady with the scowl closed tells us to “examine everything carefully and hang on to what is good.” (1 Thessalonians 5:21)

We live in confusing times indeed.  Be careful with everything you hear and see.  It is good to have healthy skepticism and do your own homework before accepting anything as factual.  No matter what “you always heard” or “always believed” or where it comes from, don’t hold on to anything that is not helpful, harmonious or good.