You Don't Need a Title

On this date, 26 years ago, a small group of young men waited to hear their name called in a public ceremony for the first time as; “Reverend Doctor _____”.  That public proclamation meant that each had satisfactorily completed several years of vigorous academic classwork, writing and projects to earn the Doctorate of Ministry degree.  Each candidate then walked across a stage, with proud family and friends in the audience, to have the Dean of the theological school place the Doctoral hood upon them.  I know about all of this because I was a member of that group.  However, I was not present for that public presentation.  While my group walked across the stage with the above-mentioned pageantry, I was walking in front of a group of solemn pallbearers carrying a casket to a grave at a small country church. 

I got the phone call late in the evening.  I had been a pastor long enough to know that those calls were not usually bringing good news.  The frantic voice of Mary (not her real name) exclaimed; “John (not his real name) had collapsed.  He is not conscious!  The EMS people are here now.”  I told her that I would be right over.  By the time I got there he was dead.  They had been married over 50 years.  He was a WW2 veteran, deacon in our church and they had been neighbors of my wife when she was a child.  I told her I would stay as long as she needed.  As we talked into the evening, she told me she wanted to have the funeral that weekend at the old country church where he grew up.  Of course, she wanted me to conduct the service and I told her I would consider it an honor.  There was no way I could tell her I actually had other plans for that weekend.  I went home and contacted all my family and told them to cancel their travel plans.  I would not be attending my graduation ceremony. 

I never was a much of a student until I entered seminary so, earning a legitimate doctoral degree was quite and achievement and a surprise for those who knew and remembered me from high school and college.  I was quiet and reserved in high school finishing in the middle of the class academically.  I guess you could say I majored in fun in college.  I had a great time and graduated on time but dead last in my class.  Anyone with lower grades than me did not graduate.  However, that is another story for another day.  I did not get serious about my education until I realized what I was going to do with my life.  A few years after earning my Master’s degree I entered the Doctor of Ministry program to increase my ability as a professional minister.  A friend advised me not to become egotistic with the title.  He said, “Don’t forget that no matter how many times you curl the tail it is still a pig!”  I learned to appreciate his humorous way to remind me to remain humble…but I am getting ahead of myself.    

There are those who seek the title for personal prestige or advancement.  I had a professional acquaintance (I didn’t really consider him a friend) who had a reputation for advancing his ego by any means necessary.  He was not worried about the ethics or legitimacy of what he did to promote himself.  He told me that he was getting a doctorate degree through an internet school.  He told me he would complete the work in less than a year.  A legitimate accredited doctoral degree is a graduate-level credential which is typically granted after multiple years of graduate school.  I told him that I never knew he had been to graduate school.  He told me that he had not but was getting on his “Mastorial and Doctorial” degrees at the same time with this internet school.  I guess there was not time for spelling or grammar since both degrees were being earned in a few short months through that internet website. 

I must confess that although I thought my decision to forgo the public ceremony and conduct the funeral for a long-time friend, deacon and veteran was the right decision, there was a part of me that did regret the opportunity to be publicly recognized in such a fashion in front of family and friends.  Then I saw an ad in a monthly publication where I could order a solid oak desk name plate with my name engraved saying “Dr. Bill Drees”.  It also had a laser engraved eagle with one of my favorite verses, Isaiah 40:31; “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”   I thought I deserve some recognition for all my hard work so I ordered it.  When the package arrived I excitedly opened it to see the laser engraved name…“Dr. Thomas Howard”.  They sent me the wrong one!!!!  I was immediately reminded to the phrase my friend had shared some time ago to keep me humble; “Don’t forget that no matter how many times you curl the tail it is still a pig!”  I realized that I may have then learned the greater lesson.  One does not need a title. 

We are all special and unique creations!  There has never been anyone like you in all of human history!  There will never be anyone quite like you in the future!  We have all been created intentionally with our unique personality, quirks, talents and gifts for our unique purpose.  We were also intentionally born in this unique time, family situation and geographical location for our individual and unique purpose.  Therefore, everyday we should be reminded how special and unique we are just because you are you!  Everyday is your time to accomplish the unique and individual purpose that you alone were created to achieve on this planet for this moment.   Some moments and achievements may bring great joy while some may not be pleasant but you have been given the opportunity and gifts to accomplish your purpose for being alive on this day.  No one can do it quite like you.  Don’t worry about titles, awards, recognition or what people may call you or think of you.  Rejoice in who you have been created to be and go forward doing what you have been uniquely created and placed here to do with joy.  Trust me in this…after all, I AM a doctor!

Each Relationship is Unique

 The S.D. Lee High Class of 1970 had another reunion this past weekend.  I made my reservation early and planned to go.  However, I did not get to attend due to a health issue.  Nothing terribly serious, at my age those things seem to happen.  Anyway, a good friend sent me pictures that allowed me to reminisce and review memories from those days when we were classmates 51 years ago.  Some faces were easy to remember, however I must admit that I had to get a magnifying glass to try to read the name tags for a few.  Life has changed all of us in many ways in this half-century since we were classmates.  The ups and downs in this world of unpredictability has a way of bringing change to all. 

My life’s journey moved me away and kept me distant from that special time and place in my life.  I have now lived away from my hometown nearly 5 decades longer than I lived there and I never lived closer than an 8-hour drive.  However, I will always treasure my time and the relationships I made in those special days.  My life was shaped by growing up and spending my first two decades of life in Columbus, MS.  The rhythm of life and the relationships I developed in those days were instrumental in molding me to be who I am today.  The older I become, and luckily, I am still becoming older, the more I realize the importance of relationships.  The relationships we make and keep shape our lives.  That’s why it is important to create and nurture as many positive relationships as possible.  Over the years I often proclaimed in sermons that relationships are the only thing from this life that we can take into eternity.  In fact, our faith and relationship with God determines our eternal destiny. 

I enjoy renewing old relationships and making new ones.  Years ago, I ran across the following poem with a unique perspective about relationships entitled To the World with Love (By Sue Stillwell): I open people just like Christmas presents; excitedly ripping away ribbons, tearing away the paper and lifting the lids off the boxes; and always a surprise awaits me.  Some of the people with the brightest ribbons and the shiniest wrappings are empty and hollow inside.  Some people with drab plain packaging hold the most glittering precious gifts and treasures inside of all.  And as with my Christmas presents some people I put away and never think about; and some I admire, look at and I don’t touch; some I put on pedestals – but they are fragile & usually break; and some become cherished and familiar to me through constant use. 

I thought she captured a great portrayal of how each person is a unique package.  We all have varied interactions with different people.  I was shy and timid and slower to make new friends in my high school years but have learned, in my many years of encountering people in various settings and locations, to be more open to meeting and getting to know people.  One never knows how an encounter may develop.  As I think Sue correctly stated some will surprise you and some will disappoint but you never really know what is inside until you open the package. 

So, don’t hesitate, as I did for too many years, to be open to new encounters.  I also have learned not to put too much stock into first impressions.  A surprise always awaits.  Some who originally seem attractive and appealing may be shallow and dull or selfish while others who initially may seem…well, not worth the time, may become precious and valuable friends for the rest of your days.   

The poem also gives valuable guidance about being careful whom we admire and put on pedestals.  We all can be frail and fragile so don’t be too devastated when those whom we have revered, esteemed and respected fail and disappoint us.  When friends and family fail me, I have learned to seek to forgive and forget as soon as possible.  It does no good to hold to ill will or hurt feelings.  However, as pointed out in the poem, there are some relationships that need to be put on the shelf and left there.  There are people in life that we may encounter, become close or even be related to who need to be kept at a distance because every time you take them ‘off the shelf’ or open them back into your life, trouble will always come with the package.  It is not bad or wrong to put and leave those ‘packages’ on the shelf and away from causing destruction and difficulty. 

As a compassionate person our heart may tell us that we can win them over and help them change their behavior.  Sometimes that may be true.  However, as I learned over many years of trying, some people will always be trouble and cause trouble.  Sadly, there are some people who remain difficult and troubled no matter how much loving people try to reach out to them.  They are a drowning person who doesn’t really want to be saved but will take the lifeguard down with them.  At some point you may have to push off and swim to shore while you still have the energy to make it yourself, prayerfully leaving them in God’s hands.  We are all in His hands anyway.  That can mean wonderful comfort or frightening judgement.  It ultimately depends on each person’s individual response. 

Years ago, I went to a conference to help ministers deal with people who continually cause trouble in the church.  The leader was a Lutheran minister with German ancestry.  I liked him because my great-grandfather was from Prussia.  But I also thought he was wise in his teaching.  He gave me a saying that I had mounted on my desk.  Every person who entered saw a German saying on the front side; Das Leben ist viel zu kurz um mit neidertrachtigen Menschen Umgang  zu haben.  The back side had the English translation that was my daily reminder; Life is much too short to be on visiting terms with mean people.

Put them on the shelf and enjoy opening the ‘packaging that hold the most glittering precious gifts and treasures.’  Treasure and cherish those gifts (relationships) with constant use.  They and you will be blessed and enriched.  So, make every day like Christmas, cheerfully opening new packages (relationships) making the most of the treasures inside and continue to cherish those who have been precious and special over the years.