Being Mary

One year ago today I began a new chapter in my life.  I retired.  I began working, and getting paid for my labor, when I was a young teenager.  My first job was bagging groceries at the Big Star food store nearly 50 years ago.  Since then I’ve had 19 different jobs (that I can remember, and yes I counted.  I know, there’s therapy for such behavior).  I drove delivery trucks, worked in factories making such things as doors, mobile homes and auto license plates.  Most states use prison inmates to make license plates but that is another story.  I was a children’s daycare counselor, sold men’s clothing, upholstered furniture, and roofed houses.  I even worked as a debt collector.  Now that’s really another story.  Oh yeah, I also did a little work as a minister…for forty years.

All those different jobs gave me a well-rounded experience and viewpoint about life.  They also made me very tired.  I was raised to ‘give a day’s work for a day’s pay’.  I wasn't a workaholic but a hard worker, whether it was a minimum wage summer job or a career position with a six-figure salary, I gave it my best.  I was conscientious, meticulously organized and dedicated to the task.

Retirement has been quite an adjustment.  Shifting gears from having primary responsibility and ‘being in charge’ for most of my career hasn’t always been easy.  Most days I enjoy activities of my own choosing but there are also days where I’ve been bored and felt useless with absolutely nothing to do.  The latter has been the more difficult adjustment for a hyper person like me. 

People ask, “What are you doing now that you have retired?”  My initial answer was; “I have been trying to live each day following 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 where the Bible says, “to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”  Leading a quiet self-sufficient life is actually more suitable to my natural personality.  I am really more comfortable as an introvert than the extroverted personality often expected for a minister.  But God called into the ministry and gifted me for the task so I put my shy nature aside and worked hard at following God’s call to teach, preach and live the truth of the Gospel even when it ran counter to my preferred personality.  Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining.  It has been a wonderful and exciting adventure. 

However, I learned there is a difference in doing what is expected and what God desires.  There is also a difference in ‘working for’ and ‘walking with’ the Lord.  As a hyper guy driven by a strong work ethic, I fit well in Baptist church life.  I think we have an unspoken theology that the busier we are the less likely we are to fall into sinful activities.  “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop and idle hands are the devil’s tools.”  I often shared my favorite church poem; “Mary had a little lamb.  It would have been a sheep.  But it joined a Baptist Church and died from lack of sleep.”  We even had a song in our hymnal entitled, ‘We'll Work Till Jesus Comes’!  We love to stay busy doing good for God.  I worked hard studying theology, Hebrew, Greek, and anything else that would help me understand and teach the most accurate truth of God’s word, which was good.  But, I also learned that there were times when my ‘good’ activities clouded and distracted me from a more personal walk with Jesus.  When one closes out distractions, one can more clearly spend quality time hearing Jesus.   Now, there is nothing wrong with much of the activity that comes with church work, until it gets in the way of walking with God.  I often said, “One of Satan’s favorite activities is to get believers involved in a good cause.”  One can get so busy that one can miss the joy of just being with Jesus.  It can become easy to fall into the routine of working hard to please others (and self) rather than doing what God desires. That's a real danger for dedicated busy church members and ministers. 

So now when people ask, “What do you do now?” I have learned a better response; “I realized that I spent 40 years working hard being ‘Martha’ and now I am enjoying being ‘Mary’”.  That declaration comes from the following scripture; Luke 10:38-42, “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”    

       

I realized that over the years I had often become distracted by “all the preparations that had to be made”.  There were times when, like Martha, I would become worried and upset over “many things”.  Oh, I was sincere with good intentions but there were always things that “needed” to be done.  And I often thought if I didn’t do them then they wouldn’t get done  or they wouldn’t get done well or the way I thought they should be done (OK I admit it!  Happy?).  Jesus told Martha, and those of us who get busy with “all the preparations”, that actually only a “few things are needed—or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

As I cleaned out my office that had become crowded over the years with books, writings, sermons, certificates, plaques, awards, etc. I realized much of the stuff I worked long and hard in accumulating is temporary.  Most has now been either given away or is in boxes in my attic and garage. While being busy with the “preparations that had to be made” seemed important at the time nothing should ever get in the way of simply enjoying time with Jesus. That activity will continue into eternity.  That’s why the better choice of Mary who “sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said”, will not be taken away. 

So, what am I doing now that I have retired? I am enjoying being more like Mary.  As a product of the Mississippi public school system perhaps I was a slow learner.  I guess I had to retire in order to fully get it.  But let me share this little secret with you: no matter what age or place you may be in your life or career or how demanding things may seem to be, you can ‘choose what is better’ today!  You don’t have to retire or stop good work in your church, community or charity just don’t get caught in the trap, as Martha and I did, of being so busy that you miss the pure joy of just spending time sitting “at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said”.  Jesus knew Martha loved Him as much as Mary did, as do I.  Jesus also knew Martha meant well, as did I.  He loved Martha as much as He loved Mary, as He also loves us.  But, Mary found the secret to greater blessings and joy in her life and relationship with Jesus and it was never taken away.  So as your days unfold don’t get too busy to just sit at the Lord’s feet and listen to what He says.  

“You’re going to be OK!”

“You’re going to be OK!”  The older I get the more I realize how important and comforting that sentence can be…especially if it comes from one with knowledge and authority.  In 2001 I had two major surgeries for a rare and life threatening illness with unusual complications that caused my surgeon to recommend a specialist in another state with a reputation as one of the best in the world.  Obviously it paid off because I am still here some 15 years later.  Each year I make the journey back to the huge medical complex in another state for tests to make sure all is still well with my health.  It always means a lot to hear from those with knowledge and authority that I am going to be OK. 

Several years ago I realized the age to consider retirement was rapidly approaching.  Math was never my strong suit but I each birthday with a zero at the end got my attention.   So I began research to see how feasible and at what age retirement would be for me.  I am an overly obsessive thinker.  I have always walked the tightrope between obsessive thoughts and OCD behavior (the D means disorder which can have a negative or crippling effect on the way one lives).  The OCD personality obsesses over making the ‘right’ decision.  “Did I make the right decision?  Should I go back and change my mind?” etc.  Well, I didn’t struggle with every decision, when it comes to deciding if I want pizza the choice is easy buy the more weight a decision carries the harder my obsessive compulsive tendencies kick in.  I almost drove myself crazy buying my first house.  Over the years I learned the secret to keep the obsessive compulsive thoughts from becoming full blown OCD is to focus on learning to live with the ‘best’ decision rather than obsessing on making the ‘right’ decision.  The decision on major surgeries was easy… let’s see, two major surgeries in six months or death…Duh!

However, when it came to retirement, which is often the final major decision in life (one article called it the ‘final adjustment’, I guess that means someone else can decide on the casket), I found myself wrestling with those obsessive compulsive thought patterns again.  I sought the opinion of ‘experts’.  I read and studied the writings and opinions of famous professional financial advisors.  I used every retirement calculator I could find.  However, I still needed to be affirmed.  So I did an internet search on the top 10 financial advisers in my state.  Then I narrowed the search to those in a reasonable driving distance.  Finally, I sought those from financial institutions with a long solid history.  After all the research I was led to the person who best met my qualifications.  She used her vast expertise and tools available to analyze my portfolio and prospects.  She gave me charts, graphs & projections and advice.  It was worth all the time spent in research and the work when she looked me in the eye and said simply, “You’re going to be OK!” 

It is hard to express what it means when a doctor, with a world respected reputation, looks you in the eye and speaking of your health says, “You’re going to be OK!”  Then to have one of the best financial advisors who works for one of the most respected financial institutions in the country speak to you of your retirement prospects smile and say, “You’re going to be OK!”  When one with authority and wisdom utters that brief sentence even an obsessive compulsive thinker can find peace that allows a good night’s sleep.  However, there is a matter more important than health or financial security. 

When this life is over and eternity waits wouldn’t it be great to have someone with knowledge and authority say, “You’re going to be OK!”  Well, there’s good news for you.  His name is Jesus and he gave us that ultimate affirmation in John 14:1-4.  Jesus knew his time on earth was drawing to a close and his disciples needed affirmation that would carry them through the difficult days ahead.  He told them (and all future disciples); “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” 

In the concise and profound way that only Jesus could do (remember John 1:14, He is the Word in flesh) we are told we don’t have to worry that there is plenty room in Heaven and He, who learned carpentry as a boy with His earthly father, will prepare a place just for us.  So we don’t have to fret when this life is over because He, who has already experience death and knows what it is like, will come to escort us to our eternal home to be with Him forever.  Now remember this affirmation is coming from one who has ultimate authority (see Matthew 28:18).  He knows what he is talking about and can back it up with His authority, wisdom and experience.  So we can rest assured, if we place our faith in Jesus, no matter what happens with our finances, our health or how upsetting the situation in the world may be…“You’re going to be OK!”