Today is my mother’s 90th birthday. I won’t celebrate it with her because she has
been in Heaven for the past 21 years. An
aneurysm ruptured in her brain causing a massive hemorrhage that took her from
this life in the middle of a conversation with my Dad. She had just given him his Fathers’ Day card
and a gag gift when she said, “I have a
sharp pain in my head.” and slumped in her recliner. The EMS team resuscitated her enough to restore
a pulse before transporting her to the ER but she never regained consciousness. Our family was never the same. She was the ‘hub’ that kept the ‘wheel’ of
our family connected and running smoothly.
Oh, we stayed together and moved on but it was never the same.
I share this with you today for a couple of reasons. First, she is on my mind. She is on my mind everyday but especially so
today. I have stood before many families
conducting funeral services for their mother, father, spouse, sibling or
grandparent over the years since my mother died and I tell them with confidence
that they did not ‘lose’ their loved one.
You will carry them in your mind and heart for the rest of your
days. I know this to be true from my own
experience. I learned several other
truths from the life and death of my mother.
I share them as I hope they will be helpful to you as well.
First, each of us is a unique creation of God. Psalm 139:14 reminds us that you are “fearfully
and wonderfully made”. There is
no one like you. There has never been
anyone like you and there will never be anyone quite like you. Since we are ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’ we each have a unique purpose and
place in this world. That unique place
begins with our family. Mother was a
middle child of ten children. The middle
child is often the ‘peacemaker’ of the family.
Mother carried that role into her later life. I had the joy and privilege of growing up in
a home filled with joy, harmony and happiness.
That is not to say we were perfect.
We had our unique personalities and opinions. They didn’t know that I was always right in
my opinions and ideas so it often took some passionate conversation as I would
try to convince them to always trust my wisdom and judgment (if you Google ‘sarcasm’
that sentence may show up as a prime example).
But mother was always the one who showed us how to live in harmony, even
with different opinions and personalities.
She was the main reason I have wonderful childhood memories of being
loved and nurtured with a home life of joy and laughter.
Every person is irreplaceable and should be treated as
such. Make the most of each relationship
you have and each person you encounter.
We are God’s unique gift to one another.
The family, the workplace, school, etc. works better and more
harmoniously when we all fulfill our unique purpose. Embrace your uniqueness and realize that God
created you with your distinctive personality and gifts to make a positive
influence on those around you. One does
not have to be famous to have a great and lasting impact. Mother was never the head of any company or
organization. She was not well-traveled. She was born and raised on a farm in
Millport, Alabama. If you Google ‘things
to do in Millport’ the response will be, “Are
you serious?” She once went as far
west as Fort Worth, Texas…to see her son graduate from seminary. She also went as far north as Wichita,
Kansas…when our first child was born. Although
she never traveled much and never really cared about a position or title other
than wife or mother, when she died we had over 500 people who came by our home
or the funeral home to share our grief with her passing. Although much time has passed since then, it
is still not unusual, when I return to my home town, that someone will tell me
how much they loved Mom and how much they enjoyed being around her because she
brought such joy and laughter.
Not only did she show me that each of us has our unique way
to make a difference in the lives and world around us by the way she
lived. Her death taught me something
significant as well. As I stated at the
beginning of this writing, mother died in mid-conversation with Dad. Life is fragile, fleeting and uncertain. Psalm 90 reminds us of the importance of
numbering our days. We each have a
number of days that we will live. We
don’t know the number. I often tell
friends that I wish I knew when my number will be up because I could spend that
last day eating nothing but cookies, ice cream and pie. However the real message of numbering our
days is that we should live with the knowledge that each day is special and
unique. Once a day or moment has passed
it can never be reclaimed or done over. Never
take a day or even a moment of your life or the life of another for
granted.
Not only could this day be your last but we are not even
guaranteed that we will complete the next sentence so make certain before you
act or speak that this action or sentence would be a fitting or positive way to
be remembered. Mother died giving Dad a
card that expressed her love for him and a gag gift that made him smile. She did not know that would be her last
action and gesture but it was typical of the way she lived, expressing love and
sharing joy.
We never know what our last action or word may be so it may
be wise to act as if each encounter, action or word could be the last. So as you act, speak or relate to others ask
yourself, “Is this the way I want to be
remembered?” If this is your last
time to see or talk to someone would you want it to end on this conversation or
in this manner? Subsequently it may be
wise to always live, act and speak in a positive, encouraging, uplifting and
loving manner.
Recently, I was the guest speaker at a church that I had
never preached in before. I did not know
if I would know anyone there or if anyone knew me. However, I was pleasantly surprised before
the service began when I was approached by a lady who looked familiar. She taught my oldest daughter in middle
school some 25 years ago. When they
needed male chaperones for field trips I would usually arrange my schedule so I
could help. The teacher came to know me
through these encounters. She told me
she was excited when she heard that I was to be their guest speaker; “I told everyone, ‘You will love him. He is a very nice man and he is always
smiling.” She didn’t know that not
only was she paying me a compliment, but she was also thanking my mother.
Thanks Mom, for continuing to show me how important it is to
live each day making the most of who God created you to be and how use your
uniqueness to make be a positive influence wherever and whenever you can.
