Earlier I was visiting a church member in the hospital. He was battling cancer bit had a positive attitude. Those times cause one to focus on the matters that are most important to life. I noticed a book beside his bed. The book was, How we Choose to be Happy. We discussed the importance of attitudes. I have always believed in the importance deliberately being in charge and having a choice with one’s attitude, philosophy and approach to life. I often tell people, “I am know I am going to have fun doing (whatever the activity may be). They will ask, how do you know you will enjoy it. I respond by telling them, “I know I will have fun because I am planning on it.” Later he gave me a copy as a gift. The writers made an extensive three year study of extremely happy people. They discovered nine choices that people who are extremely happy make. I share them as I hope it will be helpful.
The Nine Choices of Extremely Happy People (from ‘How We Choose to be Happy’)
Intention: The active desire and commitment to be happy and the decision to consciously choose attitudes and behaviors that lead to happiness over unhappiness. Regardless of what happens or the circumstances present, we make a conscious choice to be happy or unhappy.
Accountability involves making the choice to create the life you want to live—to assume responsibility for your actions, thoughts and feelings, and the emphatic refusal to blame others or view yourself as a victim. It is okay to grieve, but being a victim gives the power to others. Learning to let go moves us toward happiness.
Identification is the ongoing process of looking deeply within yourself to assess what makes you uniquely happy apart from what you are told by others should make you happy.
Centrality is the non-negotiable insistence on making central to your life that which brings you happiness. There will always be pressure to meet someone else’s expectations. This is about finding balance to care for those we love and take care of ourselves.
Recasting/Reframing involves the two steps that transform stressful problems and trauma into something meaningful, important and a source of emotional energy. We need to dive into our emotions and search for a way to melt the “emotional pot” and recast it into something that can help us move forward in a positive manner.
Options say we look at life as adventure, full of possibilities. This allows us to create multiple scenarios, open for new possibilities and adapt a flexible approach to life’s journey.
Appreciation in the moment is about making the choice to appreciate deeply your life and the people in it. This requires us to stay in the present moment and deliberately choose to turn each experience into something precious. This involves gratitude for the things we have without focusing our attention on the things we don’t have.
Giving and expecting nothing in return. We make the choice to share with friends, family, our community, and the world at large without any expectation of a return. This habit allows us to let go of the “what’s in it for me” mindset and just give in to being generous.
Truthfulness involves honesty and integrity. It means that what we say and do match. We do not allow people, society or circumstances to dictate how we respond. It means we have clarity around our internal standards and values, and we live in a manner congruent with them so we do not allow societal, workplace or family demands to violate our internal contracts.
*Adopted from How we Choose to be Happy by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks
