When I'm 64

I confess I have been dwelling in a time of sadness for too long.  I am 64 years old, the age Paul McCartney wrote about pondering his relevance in old age asking his loved one “will you still need me, will you still feed me when I'm sixty-four?”  By the way Paul McCartney wrote that song as a young teenager.  At that young age 64 indeed seemed ancient.  Paul McCartney is ten years older than me.  Now at age 74, and still preforming, he is obviously still feeling quite needed and feeding himself rather well a decade past the age that he, as a young teenager, thought would be clearly past the age of being relevant.   Ah the way our perspective changes with maturity.  When I was a young teenager with far less musical talent that Paul McCartney I could not dreamed I would have the life I can look back on now at age 64. 

I have had a truly wonderful life that has been far beyond anything the shy little boy from Columbus, MS could have ever imagined.  Even at the ripe old age of 64, I am actually in pretty good shape for the shape I’m in.  I have been blessed with an incredible family.  I have a wife who loves me more than her own life.  My children have grown to be wonderful independent and successful women.  At 64 I still feel needed (especially when my technology challenged wife is trying to do something on the computer) and I do a more than adequate job of feeding myself, so why the sadness? 

Well, I must confess that there are times when I do miss some of the days gone by.  I grew up in a small town that seemed to me like growing up in Mayberry; innocent, safe and fun.  I was blessed to grow up in one of the most loving and nurturing homes I have seen.  My parents modeled true love and joy in their lives as long as they lived.  I miss talking to them.  I am extremely proud of the women my girls have grown up to be, but I miss having them running around the house.  I have been blessed to have a mother and father-in-law who loved me like one of their own.  However, it saddens me to see daily increasing ways that Alzheimer's, cancer and other ailments rob them of life. 

As a pastor for nearly 40 years I stood and shared with grieving families in enough hospital rooms, nursing homes and gravesides where it was hard not to be sad even when I proclaimed (and still believe in the hope of Christ).  I have traveled to 5 of the 7 continents ministering and proclaiming the love and hope of the Gospel.  I have had glorious experiences beyond my dreams and have met wonderful inspirational brothers and sisters in the faith all around the world.  My many years and vast experiences have allowed me to experience the roller coaster of emotions in this life. 

I have discovered that even with the belief of abundant and eternal life that is the heart of the Gospel, there can be an overwhelming sadness that creeps into every life.  I have witnessed and experienced the reality of the great evil and injustice in this world.  Evil exists.  Evil, hate, bigotry will always be in this life creating sadness.  A small child taught me that EVIL is LIVE spelled backwards.  The key is to reverse EVIL and LIVE. 

Psalm 104 has been a ‘go to’ scripture for me since the days of my youth.  When I have times of despair or when sadness creeps in it is important to be reminded who is in control, who created and is still managing things according to His plan.  Go there as often as you can. 

In that same mood Mary Oliver wrote a poem, entitled The Summer Day where she ponders the uniqueness of life and in the simple everyday items of God’s wonderful world brimming with life, unique creatures…and death.  She closes with the question that makes the point that much of how we enjoy or despair in life is dependent on our own decision concerning what we plan to do with our one wild and precious life. 

Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper, I mean-the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention,

how to fall down into the grass,

how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed,

how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

Yes, there is wondrous life all around us.  There is also death that comes to all and often seemingly too soon.  So in the midst of it all it is up to us to decide how we will spend our one wild and precious life.  My dad had a plaque on his desk that read, “For every second you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”  The same is true with sadness or any other emotion that robs you of joy.  One may not be able to ward off the emotions that come our way but it is up to us to keep them from settling in and making themselves at home in our lives.  You cannot keep the birds from flying overhead but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.  So, make a deliberate daily decision to live in the enjoyment of the simple pleasures of God’s unique world. 

I could be handy, mending a fuse when your lights have gone. You can knit a sweater by the fireside, Sunday mornings go for a ride. Doing the garden, digging the weeds, who could ask for more? Will you still need me; will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four?

Pastor, how should I vote?

Recently a member of my former church called and asked, “Pastor, I am troubled with this presidential election.  Both candidates have major moral flaws.  You taught us to always look to scripture for guidance.  Could you direct me to a scripture to help me decide how to vote?”  First, I was delighted that I was remembered as one who taught people to look to scripture for guidance.  Second, I think this was the first time in 36 years as a pastor I had been asked about political advice.  As a minister of the Gospel I always made it a strong point to publicly stay out of politics, for several reasons.  First and foremost, my call was to proclaim and share the truth of the message of Jesus.  That often meant speaking frankly on moral issues but I wanted to make every effort that my message and life pointed people to the unifying love of Christ.  Especially from the pulpit I steered clear of discussions on sports and politics as they can be and often are divisive.  I wanted people to know I was for Jesus.  I carefully stayed away from political arguments whether secular or religious (oh yes, Virginia, politics exists in the church).  People knew I my religious loyalty and preferences were more Biblical than denominational. They were also left to wonder about my sports and political preferences. But, keen eyed visitors to my office could notice a well-worn customized cowbell with a motorcycle jelly grip handle from my college days.      

However, nearly a year after my retirement as their pastor, I had a former member who still respected my guidance as their pastor as they were truly troubled and seeking help.  I told him while there is no specific scriptural ‘voter guide’ the Apostle Paul writes in 1 Timothy 2:1-3; I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior,

Jesus was born into a world of evil, corrupt and immoral leaders that would make our current political climate seem G Rated.  He was (and still is) more interested in changing individual hearts than political leaders.  The Gospel message of love, grace and forgiveness has thrived no matter the political climate.  History has shown God often used corrupt leaders to accomplish His purpose from the time of Moses until today.  I think that tactic really infuriates the Evil One.  While many have tried, no political leader in history has been able to snuff out the movement of the Gospel.  They have persecuted and martyred faithful followers of Christ throughout the years but the movement of God has never been stopped.  His will is always accomplished.  In fact, the Gospel has often thrived best in times of political persecution. 

So while each election can be an important one, pleasing God is still the priority.  Each person has to vote according to their conscience.  My advice was (and is) this; vote in a manner that will allow you to have a clear conscience before God.  If there is no candidate on the ballot who allows you to make that choice write in one that does, whether the write in is ‘Jesus’ or ‘None of the Above’.  That will allow you to exercise your civic duty as a voter, then follow 1 Timothy 2:1-3 as you continually pray for all those in authority that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. Voting is important.  It is not only a civic duty but a right and responsibility that has been provided to us by the blood and sacrifice of lives many who have gone before us.  It is a privilege that many around the world do not have.   So pray and vote.  Then pray for all who are in authority. 

However, never forget that our real hope is not in a political leader, party or philosophy.  Our hope is in the unifying love, forgiveness and grace of Christ.  In all things let that love, forgiveness and grace bring you together with your fellowman.  This is good, and pleases God our Savior (who, I think, approves this message). 

Precious, Fragile and Fleeting

Yesterday Cathy and I took her dad to the doctor and returned home on our usual route, down Highway Church Road as we have done countless times in visits to her parents’ home over the years.  Who knows how many times she has commented on how fast the people drive down this road as they seem to ignore the speed limit.  The road tops a hill where Highway Pentecostal Holiness Church sits to the right when you are traveling east, as we do on our way home.  The peak of the hill is the only place where you cannot see oncoming traffic until they are upon you.  Often we have been startled to meet a car speeding over the hill arriving at the peak of the Highway Church hill.  We passed this point around 5:20 pm yesterday (that is significant).  Cathy’s father had remarked about the 5 pm traffic as we took him home.  If you have not become bored with these facts and quit reading already, hang on, I share this non-exciting account of our journey home yesterday for a reason. 

This morning I read in the paper where a fatal head on collision occurred on Highway Church Road at 5:22 pm yesterday.  A woman and her child were heading east, only a couple of minutes behind Cathy and me.  I told you the time of 5:20 was significant.  She topped the same hill that often hides oncoming traffic to meet a speeding car in her lane.  She died instantly.  Her son is in the hospital and should survive but his life will never be the same. 

As I read about this automobile accident my heart went out to those involved.  I was also immediately reminded that Cathy and I had passed that same spot only a few minutes earlier.  Only a couple of minutes and what a world of difference; one family will grieve the loss of a wife & mother for the rest of their days while we made it home to another ‘uneventful’ evening.  One rarely knows how a minute or two can make such a difference in life or death.  Life can turn in an instant.  My mother died in mid-sentence talking with my dad at age 68.  She was healthier at 68 than I am at 64.  My own life was miraculously preserved 17 years ago.   Our doctor told Cathy, “You don’t know how close you came to waking one morning to find that Bill died in his sleep.  His situation is usually discovered in the autopsy as we wonder why someone his age died so suddenly.’ For more on that event go to the article I wrote on Monday, February 21, 2011 entitled, “Ten Years Later”.   The point, once again, is to remember that each breath could be the last.  In fact one breath will indeed be the last, we just never know when.  Therefore make each breath count.  Use it to say good, kind and loving things.  You may not get another chance.  

Before I retired I often made the point in sermons and funerals about how life is precious, fragile and fleeting.  Each one of us is a unique creation of God.  There has never been anyone like us in the past and will never be in the future.  That is why each life, each individual, is irreplaceable.  We must never take any life for granted.  It can never be replaces.  We must remember to love one another with grace that allows each one to reach their full potential in this life.  This is the only chance we get to walk in this world. 

Again, in my years as a minister, I was with many people and families in times of death.  The saddest situations involved a life ending with regret. It is tragic how often one will know they are on their death bead and express sorrow for things not done or not done as well as they could have been.  The best way to avoid regret is to take care of those things now.  Forgive immediately, forget quickly, do whatever it takes to live in peace with others, live without fear, and chase your dream with passion. 

The experiences mentioned above are my daily reminders that every day is a precious, fragile and fleeting gift from God.  I already knew that but waking this morning to discover that we were only moments ahead of a fatal accident made me go back and have a greater appreciation for another ordinary evening yesterday.  Tonight Cathy and I will probably do what we normally do most nights.  We will have dinner, sit outside and watch the birds until sundown then read and try to stay awake until 9:30.  I know it is does not sound thrilling but there will come a day when, whatever you do with your time, it all comes to an end.  I used John 10:10 as my text the first time I preached in a church.  Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”  Make Him proud of how you live the life He gave you and fulfill His purpose in coming. 

Live abundantly!