It's Not Good To Be Alone

My next door neighbor is moving.  We have enjoyed being neighbors for 18 years.  I am sorry to see her move but I understand.  She is a widow and has no children.  She is at the time and age in life when she can no longer take care of herself and her home alone.  She has fallen a few times and is moving to a senior adult retirement community.  She is sad about moving from her home.  We hate to lose her as our next door neighbor but this is part of life.  We have tried to help her and take care of things for her as neighbors and since I have retired I am more available to help but she is lonely and will benefit from being in a community with people who are at the same stage in life and will be her new friends.  As we talked I was reminded of how we moved my father into our home and took care of him in his last days and are now taking care of my wife’s parents in their final years.  I am sorry to lose my good neighbor but since she has no family and not many in our neighborhood are in her age bracket she is lonely.  She will benefit from being in a community where she can make new friends who will be in her age group and will help one another as needed. 

I am reminded of Genesis 2:18 where God told Adam, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”  We are created to have relationships.  We are made in God’s image.  This is a triune God; Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  While we may have difficulty wrapping our finite minds around how God can be three distinctive persons in one, there is something we can understand.  God, being three persons in one, can have and enjoy relationships with Himself.  Wow, if we understand nothing else about the Trinity we need to understand the importance of relationships.  We are created and thrive on relationships with one another.  There is everything godly about building, growing and a positive network of relationships in this life.   Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us the importance of a growing network of companions, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” 

As we journey through life we discover that one of the most valuable assets we can obtain is that of positive relationships with family and friends.  It is vital, for many reasons, to develop and maintain a positive and growing network of relationships.  They may be family or friends that are as close if not closer than family.  I know of people who seem to have a talent for driving away family and friends.  They wind up sad and lonely.  As I referred to Genesis earlier, God tells us that it is not good for us to be alone.  Therefore it is wise and profitable to make every opportunity to make and maintain as many positive relationships as possible.  As I am writing this I received a phone call from someone seeking help for a church.  I know I am not the solution to their situation but because I have a friendship with another retired pastor I can easily recommend him for that situation. 

Just yesterday, I tried to contact a pastor with whom I recently served in a connected community to offer something that may be helpful in his ministry.  In my opinion he was one of those EGR folks (Extra Grace Required).  We have all met folks that seem to be intent on draining all the grace you may have in just being in the same room with them without strangling them.  Anyway, before I get too distracted, he never returned my phone call so he will never know if the information I wanted to share may help his life or ministry.  Hopefully as he gets older, like me, he will realize that keeping positive relationships, even with doofus guys like me, are helpful in many ways.  

God uses our relationships with others for His work and also to enhance our life.  One never knows when a connection with another human may become the link that God chooses to use for our mutual benefit and His glory.  Therefore as you go through life never take for granted the value of relationships with others.   Do all you can to grow, develop and maintain as many positive relationships as you go through your life.

One of the great advantages of being active in a church family is the power of relationships.   Counselors and medical professionals often speak of the importance of support groups for those encountering grief or difficult medical situations.  People who are active in a church already have a support group of their church family members who will walk with them in their difficult days.   

Hey, I realize that all of us may have family, neighbors or co-workers who are hard to get along with but we all benefit from forgiving one another’s shortcomings and trying to keep relationships positive.  You never know when we may need one another.  That is why it is vital to keep, maintain and grow as many positive relationships as you can in this life.  As I have shared previously, relationships are the only thing one takes from this life into eternity.  Your relationship with Jesus determines your eternal destiny and the relationships you form in this life with those who have trusted Jesus will continue through eternity.

As I was completing this writing this I received a call from a friend I have known since elementary school telling me of the death of two of my old friends from high school and college.  In my last blog I shared of making a sentimental journey back to my home town to reconnect with old friends.  I am especially glad now that I got to make these visits.  Don't delay visiting friends and family.  One never knows what tomorrow may bring.  Life is precious, fragile and fleeting.  

So as you go through your daily life seek to make, maintain and keep as many positive relationships as possible with family, friends and strangers as possible.  You never know when God may use those relationships to bless others or even you.  

See You Later!

The older I get the more I have become an emotional sap.  As one goes farther down the road of life one cannot help being touched by the emotions of life.  Life is filled with emotional events; birth, death, sickness, health, unexpected tragedy, miraculous recovery, gaining new friends and saying good bye to old friends and loved ones.  All of the above seem to have a cumulative effect…at least they have on me.  That may also be because as a pastor for nearly 40 years I have been with people as they celebrated the joys of positive emotional events of life and tried to comfort and console them as they experienced and tried to make sense of the most devastating times in life. 

Other than my faith in Christ, one of the things that helps keep me grounded is the foundation I received from my youth.  I grew up in a small town in Mississippi with what we call ‘small town Southern manners and virtues’.  I open doors for ladies.  I still say ‘please & thank you’ & ‘yes ma'am’ and ‘yes sir’ (even though at my age I am probably older than the one I am speaking to).   I was also blessed to be born with wonderful parents in a loving home.  Oh, I know that things were not perfect.  They never are in this sin-scarred world.  But it was close, at least in my memories.  That is why, although I have been gone from there for over 40 years and now I live 500 miles away, my heart always has a special place for my home and my roots. 

I recently made a trip home just to reconnect.  I have no longer have living relatives in my home town and had no real reason to make the trip other than nostalgia but at my time in live that is reason enough.  It was a bittersweet trip.  I stopped on the way to spend time with an aunt in Alabama.  The last time we were together I spoke at my uncle’s and her husband’s funeral.  We had a great time sharing laughs and memories as his uniqueness and memories will be with us for the rest of our lives.  On the way back home I stopped and visited with an uncle.  The last time I was with him I spoke at my aunt’s and his wife’s funeral.  We also shared laughs and memories as her uniqueness and memories will be with us for the rest of our lives.  If it sounds like there is a recurring theme here, hang on, there is. 

My time back in Columbus, MS was also a mixture of emotions.  As I drove around the town there were many changes.  Buildings and places had changed.  Many places from my youth were gone or in disrepair.  But memories flowed freely as I retraced familiar territory of my younger days.  I got to reconnect with friends, some I have known since 1^st grade.  We shared laughs and swapped stories…as best as we could remember.  Some of what we remember may have actually happened.  I also had a precious visit with a friend from my old neighborhood who is heroically battling pancreatic cancer and discovered an old college roommate is in the battle of his life with melanoma.   I am always reminded how precious, fragile and fleeting life can be.  That is why we need to make the most of each moment.

I visited our family plot in historic Friendship cemetery.  It is not far from the section of Civil War graves of both Union and Confederate soldiers.  My great grandfather who came here from Prussia, my grandfather, uncles and aunts and mom and dad are buried there.  My plot is also there.  I spent time cleaning each headstone and placing new flowers.  I know they are not there.  Mom and Dad have been in Heaven for a while but I feel closeness as I tend their graves.  I can’t help but get emotional.  I still miss talking, laughing and just enjoying being with them.  I have long known that it is important to cultivate and keep strong positive relationships with family and friends as we never know what may happen tomorrow and when will be the last time we will see one another.  There’s that recurring theme.

The relationships we make in this life are the only thing that is eternal.  Everything else decays and dies.  As I stated earlier, each time I go back to the places of my youth I see the changes and decay or the fact that some of those places no longer exist.  But the relationships I make are eternal.  Time with friends and family I may not get to see but every few years is always a joy.  We may not have seen each other for some time but immediately it seems like not a moment has passed as we pick up right where we left off.  Remember the importance of making and maintaining positive growing relationships as they are the only thing from this life that we carry into eternity.  Your relationship with Jesus determines your eternal destiny.  Your friends and family who also trust Jesus for their eternal destiny will all be reunited forever.  Nothing else you may know, say or do in this life is more important than that realization. 

That understanding also taught me that our relationship with Jesus is the only thing that truly turns the sadness of life around.  At one time I thought saying good-bye to family and friends was difficult for me…especially when it was that final good-bye.  Now I never say ‘good-bye’.  I always say “See you later.”  That may not sound like a significant matter but it finally dawned on me (it took a while but I was never a rapid learner), believers never really say good-bye because if we never see one another again in this world we will see each other soon in Heaven where all the sadness, sickness and sorrow of this world will be gone!  That will be the best reunion and it will never end!  Therefore, make certain you have an eternal relationship with Jesus.  Then share that love and truth daily as you cultivate and maintain positive relationships each day of your life.  That is all that lasts in this life and the next.  So, I look forward to the next time we can get together but if for some reason we are not able to see one another or get together again in this life…”See you later!”