Today is March 23, 2018.
It is Friday. 38 years ago March
23 was on Sunday. I have two important
reasons to remember that fact. First, I
baptized Sam Hatcher that Sunday morning.
Sam was the first person I baptized.
I was serving as an intern minister at a church in Euless, TX. That meant I didn’t earn a salary. I was offered the job in my last year as a
seminary student by a friend who was the pastor. He told me that as an intern I would not
receive a salary but the experience would be invaluable. Don’t you love the way that they make working
for free sound good? Anyway, I had never
performed a baptism and he let me baptize Sam during the morning service.
Since this was a special event I asked my girlfriend to
attend. I had to be there early so she
came later in her own car. Afterward I
took her to the most expensive Italian restaurant that I could afford, Pizza
Hut. Don’t forget, I was an ‘intern
minister’ with no salary. Even Pizza Hut
stretched my budget. She and I had been dating a few months. I knew I liked her and thought she liked me,
at least she kept agreeing to go out with me so that was a rare and good
sign. The day was special as I had made
it through my first baptism but something seemed to be different for me as we
had lunch. She was at the salad bar and
I remember looking at her, smiling as I was overcome by a sensation that seemed
to come out of nowhere realizing, “this
girl could be a great wife and mother for my children”…I did not have any
children at the time but this was God’s way of telling me she was the one for
me. Cathy must have seen the crazy smile
on my face as she returned to the table, saying: “What is it?” I brushed it
off saying, “Oh, nothing” but I kept
thinking, “If this feeling does not go
away, I’m going to ask her to marry me.”
As a word of explanation, this wasn’t like me. I’m not a spontaneous person by nature. In fact, I’m quite the opposite. Rarely do I say or do anything that has not
been well thought out. In fact, I
usually think things to death. That is
what OCD people do. We obsess with our
thoughts seeking to make certain we make the right decision. Then we obsess wondering, “Was that the right decision?” OCD becomes a crippling disorder when the
person gets so obsessed with making the ‘right’ decision that they cannot make
a decision at all. And here I was about
to make the most important decision in my life, other than my decision to
follow Jesus, without obsessing or thinking about the ‘right’ decision at
all. Maybe it just seemed so right that
there was no need to obsess. This was also
early in my theological studies but I’ve now become very much aware that God
rarely does things that fit perfectly into our logic and reasoning.
I knew I liked Cathy; I liked her a lot…more than anyone I
had ever met. But, I had not yet thought
of marriage. I was too practical for
that. Remember I was only an ‘intern
minister’ with no salary. I was one
semester from graduating from seminary with no real idea where or what kind of
ministerial position I would have after graduation…or even if I would be hired
by any church. How could I think of
marriage when I could barely take care of myself? However, the feeling did not leave as we
finished our lunch and I drove her back to the church parking where she had
left her car. I parked next to her car,
turned off the ignition, turned to face her and said, “I want to ask you something before you get out of the car. Will you marry me?” She punched me in the arm and said, “Stop fooling around!” She could tell by
the serious look on my face that I was not fooling around and then she got the
same serious look on her face and said yes.
She still has to occasionally punch me in the arm and tell me to stop
fooling around but on August 23 we will celebrate 38 years (in a row) of
marriage to one another.
I still shake my head on occasion and think how I made that
most important and life changing decision in a manner that is so out of
character for me. It took me weeks to
make a decision about buying our first sofa.
Even in my cautious, OCD careful ways of making decisions God seemed to
get through and give me to comfort to trust Him as this was His plan for
us. Sometimes we need to step out of our
normal routine or character or we will never experience the wonderful adventure
that God has right in front of us. We
can get too locked down in our safe pattern of thinking and comfortable
routine. We do not need to explain or
have complete understanding for every decision or action. Faith often defies explanation or
understanding. I once had a poster in my
office with two pictures and two captions.
The first picture is a person cautiously looking over a cliff with the
caption, “What if I fall?” The next picture on the poster is one of
one of those ‘base jumper wingsuit flyers’ who leap off the cliff to soar along
the mountainside like a bird. That
caption reads, “Oh, but what if I fly?”
There are times when we need to follow our
heart and trust God in faith as we leap. Now, we are not to jump foolishly off the cliff but we are also
not to hang back in fear when we feel God calling us to trust His hand by
faith. Jesus said, “The wind blows wherever it
pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where
it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” Those who raise their sail to catch and
follow the ‘wind of the Holy Spirit’
find joy, peace and life beyond expectation.
Those who lower the sail waiting in the harbor of life for everything to
be safe and perfectly fitting into their logic before making a decision may
miss the God’s plan and the adventure of a lifetime.
Our logic and reasoning can and should be be
helpful but they should never take the place of or get in the way of following
God by faith. Again, I have noticed in
nearly a half century of careful Bible study that God rarely does things that
fit perfectly into human logic and reasoning.
Isaiah 40:31 says, “but those who hope in the Lord will renew
their strength. They will soar on wings
like eagles.” We may not have
complete understanding of every issue and it may not fit our comfort zone
or plans but if we live in a trusting relationship with God we can depend on
His hand to guide to soaring heights us as we follow where the Holy Spirit leads. I am reminded of that truth each day, and
especially on March 23.
