Fifty eight years ago I began a journey on this planet that has given me more adventure, experiences, love, joy, pain, heartache and grace than I could have imagined. Life’s lessons are learned through all those emotions, feelings and experiences. I don’t know how many more years (or moments) I will have left. I am one of the few who would like to know how much time I have (one week before I go I would go on a strict diet of Oreo’s, Cobbler and Ice Cream). Regardless of that last statement, I do think I have learned some valuable lessons in my 58 years. Come to think of it because of statements like that, I have learned some things as well.
Socrates at his trial for heresy said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” While never accused of heresy of on the level of Socrates I am an obsessive thinker and I try to think and learn from everything. I hope I have picked up a thing or two in my day(s). I have seen people search far & wide for purpose & meaning in life. Many seek purpose or meaning in relationships, success, power. These pursuits usually lead to emptiness. Others become frustrated and escape in depression, drugs and other methods of avoidance. Oscar Wilde said, “In this world there are two tragedies. One is not getting everything one wants, the other is getting it.”
As a pastor I have been with people in enough difficult situations, end of life moments and preached enough funerals that I have learned that life is precious and fragile. Psalm 90:12 tells us our days are numbered. We don’t know the number so we need to live each day is if it may be the last. You never know which breath, word or deed may be the final one. The only way to make sure you leave this world and your loved ones with a good word, deed or smile is to try to have a good word, deed or smile every moment.
I have learned it’s important to keep close relationships with family and friends. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 tells us, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
I will always remember the 1st funeral I preached, as a young seminary student in my 20’s. The funeral home called to have a ‘minister’ because the deceased man was virtually unknown. There were only 8 people present. The man in the casket looked to be in his 50’s. I did my best. Afterward the only one of the 8 attendees in a suit, the one who paid for the funeral, came to thank me and told me, “He was a cousin we rarely saw who lived a hard life and I didn’t want him buried alone.” How sad that his closest family, at his funeral, did not really know him. What a lonely life. I once saw a forgettable movie but remembered a scene where a somewhat sensitive hit-man contemplated life. One can learn from many avenues. He said the following, “Look, in my business you’re surrounded by loneliness and finality. Now I don’t care what your take is on an afterlife, when people die its scary and they go alone. Now the people that I send off that have experienced love, they’re a little less scared. I mean they’re still scared but there’s calmness to ’em. I think that comes from a knowledge that somebody somewhere loved ‘em and cared for ’em and will miss ‘em.” It is vital to keep and maintain close relationships with friends and family. It is important to know and love people and know you are loved.
I have also learned over the years that pain is a part of life. There is a human tendency to avoid pain by any avenue (pills, drinking, denial, isolation, etc.) Avoidance is also a great way to avoid pain. God often uses painful situations to transform and teach. Read Hebrews 2:10. What is my loving Father teaching here? I used to be embarrassed easily so I avoided the pain of embarrassment by avoiding situations with that potential. I missed a lot of fun in the mix. Now I add my red cheeks to the fun. My wife saw a cute guy with red cheeks and found them attractive and was drawn to me and it became a plus. Sometimes going through the pain brings positive results.
Finally, remember that all things matter. Live each moment as if someone is watching and everything counts. Because someone is watching it does matter, Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 tells us that all things matter, even the things that we think no one sees. God never misses a trick…even the ones we hope no one saw. In those cases, we confess, repent and allow the work Jesus performed on the cross to wipe the slate clean. It is all good! Make the most of each moment living it as if it could be your last, connecting to people as much as possible, living and learning life’s lessons from pain knowing that all things matter! Have a great one!
