For nearly 40 years as a pastor I spent hours each day
reading, doing research and studying to prepare sermons and Bible studies. That was my primary work. And for me, it was work. Study never came
easy for me. Although, I have earned 4
diplomas and completed some 23 years of formal accredited education I never was
never a good student. I would rather
play and have fun than study. I still
confess to that shortcoming (if having fun is a shortcoming).
I graduated in the bottom third of my class in high
school. I was dead last in my college graduating
class. There is a great story that goes
along with that unique accomplishment but that’s for another time. Maybe we can get together sometime for coffee
and I will disclose how that ‘distinction’ came about but for now let me get
back on topic (see how easily I could get distracted in school). I applied myself as a more serious student in
seminary working toward my Master’s degree but I still graduated somewhere in
the middle of the pack. As I was nearing
the end of my Doctoral work I had a conversation with a fellow student who was
consumed with finishing first in the class.
I tried to help him relieve the anxiety and pressure he was placing on
himself with this desire to finish first in the class as I told him that I was
more interested in learning than my grade point average or being first in the
class. I asked him, “Do you know what they will call me if I graduate last in the
class? They will still refer to me as,
Dr. Drees!”
I share all that to say this; reading was never fun for
me. It was work. It was part of the job. It was something I had to do. I never thought of reading for pleasure until
now. Now that I am retired I am enjoying
reading fiction. I am in the midst of a
mystery by James Patterson entitled ‘Invisible’. James Patterson had the largest selection of
books in the ‘Large Print’ section of the library…man I hate getting old. Anyway, it is about a serial killer being
pursued by the FBI. The fictitious
killer dictates his activities and motives on tape so there will be a record
when/if he is caught and he will be known. He says, “I’m
doing it because you think you know me, but you don’t. You don’t know anybody really. And I can prove it to you. Just use yourself as an example. You have thoughts that nobody else knows
about, don’t you? Thoughts that you haven’t
shared with a single human being, not your best friend or sibling – nobody. And sometimes it’s more than your
thoughts. It’s actions, things you do….you
don’t share those thoughts because you’re afraid that your extremes will define
you,...So you hide, you put on a mask.”
As I read that soliloquy from a fictional character I thought
about the truth the author was conveying about all of us. I thought about the times when a person that
was assumed to be quiet and reserved went berserk and went on a killing
spree. The media seems to have no
trouble finding neighbors, friends or family who say, “We are shocked. We never knew
this side of him.” I thought about
the times a faithful church member, or pastor, confessed or got caught in adultery,
theft or some other shocking behavior that took everyone by surprise It seems that all of us put on masks from time
to time to hide things we don’t want others to know. See you never knew how ‘dumb’ I was in school
until today.
We need to be reminded that God knows who we are behind the
mask. He knows the thoughts that we keep
secret from the world. Psalm 139 shows
us just how much God knows about us. Matthew
10:30 & Luke 12:7 remind us that he knows the number of hairs on our head. As I get older and balder that is not as
difficult but the point is that God knows who we really are down to our core…and
He loves us anyway. As you know from the
first memory verse most of us learned, John 3:16, He loved us so much that He send
and sacrificed His son, Jesus, for our salvation.
You have probably heard many sermons from guys like me
describing the different types of love in the Greek language. Preachers who had to struggle through Greek
classes, like me, try to show off our ‘knowledge’ whenever we can. When possible we try to work in explanations
of Greek words like Storge or
familial love which refers to natural or instinctual affection, such as the
love of a parent towards offspring and vice versa. Another Greek term for love is Philia; from where we get Philadelphia,
the city of brotherly love. It is love between
good friends. Then there is Eros (from where get erotic) that
describes physical attraction or desire.
Finally there is Agape, which
is the type of love God has for us as it involves faithfulness, commitment, and
an eternal act of the will not an emotion that comes and goes.
For those, again like me, who struggled with Greek there is
a simpler breakdown. First there is ‘love if’. I love
you if… One can complete the sentence with any of the many requirements to
earn this conditional love. I love you if you will do this certain thing,
look or act a certain way…etc. Then
there is ‘love because’. I love
you because you of the way you look or act, make me feel…etc. Again, this love is conditional because it
depends on the person. The third type of
love in this shorter analogy is ‘love in
spite of’. I know who you are, warts and all, and I love you in spite of your
imperfections! As opposed to the first two which are conditional, this is
unconditional love. This is true
love. This is the way God loves us. This is the way we should love one
another.
Unconditional love does not excuse or justify wrong thoughts
or actions. It overlooks them and loves
anyway while cheering for us and helping us become better. We can only open ourselves to unconditional
love when we become totally honest with ourselves and others. Honesty with ourselves means asking God to
completely reveal any wrong or imperfection we are covering up as we pray the
prayer from Psalm 139:23, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me
and know my anxious thoughts.” When
God reveals thoughts or actions that are wrong or offensive we then need to
acknowledge them to ourselves and Him.
He will then forgive according to 1 John 1:9. Then we need to repent as we change
direction. Repent in Hebrew is SHUB (yes, I had to study Hebrew as well
so bear with me) which expresses a radical change of mind toward sin and
implies a conscious separation from sin and decision to forsake it and agree
with God. In other words it means being
honest with God, admitting our failings and agreeing with the way God sees us
as we move from actions and thoughts we hide, cover up as we become spiritually
mature, real and honest with God, others and ourselves.
So today, I encourage you to begin removing the mask. Become who God created you to be, not who you
think will be accepted by others. Any action
or thought you want to keep hidden or would be ashamed of if discovered no
longer needs to be in your life. Acknowledge
shortcomings to self and God. Receive His
forgiveness, grace and power to move in a different and more honest direction
in your life. You will find that the relationships
you lose are those who had conditional ‘love’ for you and they are no great
loss in your life. On the contrary, you
will learn that those who love you for ‘who
you really are’ are trusted friends on whom you can depend and rejoice for
the rest of your days. So, be honest
with yourself, with others and most of all with God. It is truly the best way to live. I leave you with this jewel of a thought from
Theodor Seuss Geisel (most of you will better know him as Dr. Seuss) “Be
who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and
those who matter don't mind.”
