Forty years ago I met Neal.
I often think of him. It is good
that I do so. He taught me some valuable
lessons. Neal showed me how to
have a positive attitude no matter what the situation may be. The lesson is backed by Paul’s declaration in
Philippians 4:11-13; “I am not complaining about having too
little. I have learned to be satisfied with whatever I have. I know what it is to be poor or to have
plenty, and I have lived under all kinds of conditions. I know what it means to
be full or to be hungry, to have too much or too little. Christ gives me the
strength to face anything.” It
is appropriate that I have a scriptural foundation to this story because I met
Neal at seminary as we were both working on our Masters of Divinity
degrees. We graduated together but he
was smarter and much wiser. I always
knew study at the Masters level would be challenging. I was not a good student when I entered the seminary. In 1974 I graduated
dead last in the school of business at Mississippi State University, but that
is another story. I really majored in
having fun in college…but that’s also another story.
I knew seminary would be difficult for me, as I had to learn
to study and take things more seriously.
However, when I met Neal I realized that my challenge was not that big
of a deal. Just getting around and
having a conversation was a challenge for Neal. Due to problems at birth Neal’s brain had
difficulty getting the proper signals to allow his body to function in a
fashion that is effortless and unconsciously normal for us.
His legs did not work but he didn't use a wheel chair. He walked but not like the rest of us. Since his brain could not tell one leg to
step forward and then the other, as happens naturally with us, he had crutches
fastened to his arms, so to get around he would sling one crutch forward and then
drag his legs forward then he would repeat the process with the other arm continuing
to drag his legs along. He had steel
toes in his shoes because they constantly dragged the ground. But he ‘walked’ to class with the rest of
us. Neal taught me a special courage to
keep from giving in to the ‘difficulties’ and unfairness of life’s
circumstances.
As we walked to class and gathered in groups after class we
talked of many things…since we were all single guys the subject of girls often
was worked into the conversation. Neal’s
speech was also affected by his birth defect.
There was nothing wrong with his intelligence, his was much smarter than
most of us…especially me. However, the
words came out of his contorted mouth slowly and slurred. One day as we were going across campus with
our normal conversation, yes about girls and dating, Neal started laughing and
proclaimed that he felt sorry for us. We
stopped and while no one said anything we were probably all thinking the same
thing; "Here is this guy who has trouble walking and talking and he feels sorry
for us!"
Neal didn’t keep us in suspense about the reason for his
pity on us as he grinned with his twisted smile and explained; “When I get married I am going to know beyond
all doubt that she truly loves me for who I am and not for the way I look
or act. I will know true love while you
may wonder if she will find some more handsome or with more money.” We joined him in laughter but we also
knew we were standing in the presence of someone special. Neal knew Paul’s secret to being content no
matter what the circumstances may be. Contentment
is not found in physical appearance, abilities or circumstance in life. Contentment is found in knowing who God sees
when he looks through us and knowing He loves who he sees through our faith in Christ! Neal taught us that who we really are is reflected more from the heart than the mirror.
As my life has been affected by the many years and events that
have passed, I am increasingly slower in getting up from chairs and getting
around. I ache in places I never knew
existed in my youth. I also have times
of sadness as I remember loved ones who are now gone. However, rather than having a lengthy pity
party I think of Neal, the Apostle Paul and Jesus as I remember that I can
always find contentment no matter what my circumstances may be. Physical appearances and abilities will
change. Relationships will come and
go. Integrity, humility, love,
compassion and a pure heart can last for eternity and make all else seem
frivolous. What is seen from my heart is
far more important than what I see in the mirror.
I don’t think I will ever forget graduation from seminary. Neal was ahead of me in the line, which was
appropriate for many reasons. He managed
his way up the stairs with the crutches attached to his arms and his feet
dragging behind. As he stood on the
stage and heard his named called the excitement overcame him and he shouted and
raised his right crutch in the air. He
immediately fell with a thud. A hush
fell on the audience but when we realized he was not hurt no one moved. We all seemed to know that this was Neal’s
moment. In spite of being severely
physically hindered in mobility and speech Neal had accomplished a level of
achievement attained by few able-bodied people.
He needed to walk these final steps on his own. I remember sensing the collective energy of
the entire auditorium as we all sought to ‘will’ him up from the floor. Neal struggled to his feet and slung one
crutch ahead of the other with his feet dragging behind making those final
steps on his own. Without a doubt Neal
had the night’s greatest ovation as the seminary president shook his hand and presented
him his Masters degree.
As stated at the beginning of this story, it is good for me
to think of Neal. I confess that I can
be too superficial at times. We all know
what it is like to spend too much time looking in the mirror worrying about
that hairline that seems to be receding overnight, the gray that is increasing
in the hair that remains, those wrinkles we didn’t notice yesterday, the
midsection that is gradually increasing…I could go on but I think you get the
picture. Physical abilities and the way
we look will always change, sometimes not the way we desire. However, as I learned long ago from Neal (and
Jesus), what is seen in our heart is far more important than what is seen in
the mirror!
