The S.D. Lee High Class of 1970 had another reunion this past weekend. I made my reservation early and planned to go. However, I did not get to attend due to a health issue. Nothing terribly serious, at my age those things seem to happen. Anyway, a good friend sent me pictures that allowed me to reminisce and review memories from those days when we were classmates 51 years ago. Some faces were easy to remember, however I must admit that I had to get a magnifying glass to try to read the name tags for a few. Life has changed all of us in many ways in this half-century since we were classmates. The ups and downs in this world of unpredictability has a way of bringing change to all.
My life’s journey moved me away and kept me distant from
that special time and place in my life. I
have now lived away from my hometown nearly 5 decades longer than I lived
there and I never lived closer than an 8-hour drive. However, I will always treasure my time and
the relationships I made in those special days.
My life was shaped by growing up and spending my first two decades of
life in Columbus, MS. The rhythm of life
and the relationships I developed in those days were instrumental in molding me
to be who I am today. The older I
become, and luckily, I am still becoming older, the more I realize the
importance of relationships. The
relationships we make and keep shape our lives.
That’s why it is important to create and nurture as many positive
relationships as possible. Over the
years I often proclaimed in sermons that relationships are the only thing from
this life that we can take into eternity.
In fact, our faith and relationship with God determines our eternal
destiny.
I enjoy renewing old relationships and making new ones. Years ago, I ran across the following poem
with a unique perspective about relationships entitled To the World with
Love (By Sue Stillwell): I open people just like Christmas
presents; excitedly ripping away ribbons, tearing away the paper and lifting
the lids off the boxes; and always a surprise awaits me. Some of the people with the brightest ribbons
and the shiniest wrappings are empty and hollow inside. Some people with drab plain packaging hold
the most glittering precious gifts and treasures inside of all. And as with my Christmas presents some people
I put away and never think about; and some I admire, look at and I don’t touch;
some I put on pedestals – but they are fragile & usually break; and some
become cherished and familiar to me through constant use.
I thought she captured a great portrayal of how each person
is a unique package. We all have varied
interactions with different people. I
was shy and timid and slower to make new friends in my high school years but
have learned, in my many years of encountering people in various settings and
locations, to be more open to meeting and getting to know people. One never knows how an encounter may
develop. As I think Sue correctly stated
some will surprise you and some will disappoint but you never really know what
is inside until you open the package.
So, don’t hesitate, as I did for too many years, to be open
to new encounters. I also have learned
not to put too much stock into first impressions. A surprise always awaits. Some who originally seem attractive and
appealing may be shallow and dull or selfish while others who initially may seem…well,
not worth the time, may become precious and valuable friends for the rest of
your days.
The poem also gives valuable guidance about being careful
whom we admire and put on pedestals. We
all can be frail and fragile so don’t be too devastated when those whom we have
revered, esteemed and respected fail and disappoint us. When friends and family fail me, I have
learned to seek to forgive and forget as soon as possible. It does no good to hold to ill will or hurt
feelings. However, as pointed out in the
poem, there are some relationships that need to be put on the shelf and left there. There are people in life that we may
encounter, become close or even be related to who need to be kept at a distance
because every time you take them ‘off the shelf’ or open them back into
your life, trouble will always come with the package. It is not bad or wrong to put and leave those
‘packages’ on the shelf and away from causing destruction and
difficulty.
As a compassionate person our heart may tell us that we can
win them over and help them change their behavior. Sometimes that may be true. However, as I learned over many years of
trying, some people will always be trouble and cause trouble. Sadly, there are some people who remain difficult
and troubled no matter how much loving people try to reach out to them. They are a drowning person who doesn’t really
want to be saved but will take the lifeguard down with them. At some point you may have to push off and
swim to shore while you still have the energy to make it yourself, prayerfully
leaving them in God’s hands. We are all
in His hands anyway. That can mean
wonderful comfort or frightening judgement.
It ultimately depends on each person’s individual response.
Years ago, I went to a conference to help ministers deal
with people who continually cause trouble in the church. The leader was a Lutheran minister with
German ancestry. I liked him because my
great-grandfather was from Prussia. But
I also thought he was wise in his teaching.
He gave me a saying that I had mounted on my desk. Every person who entered saw a German saying
on the front side; Das Leben ist viel zu kurz um mit neidertrachtigen
Menschen Umgang zu haben. The back side had the English
translation that was my daily reminder; Life is much too short to be on
visiting terms with mean people.
Put them on the shelf and enjoy opening the ‘packaging
that hold the most glittering precious gifts and treasures.’ Treasure and cherish those gifts (relationships)
with constant use. They and you will be
blessed and enriched. So, make every day
like Christmas, cheerfully opening new packages (relationships) making the most
of the treasures inside and continue to cherish those who have been precious
and special over the years.
