I Won 63 Games in a Row!

My mother’s sudden unexpected death in 1997 sent me into a time of depression.  She was the hub of our family wheel.  She was the one who brought smiles and laughter to every situation.  The impact and circumstances of her passing on my life and the lives of all our family caused a crisis of faith leading me to question life’s purpose, God’s plan and wondering about the point of doing anything constructive.  I still functioned and went through my paces in life and fulfilled responsibilities and duties but there was an emptiness that led to a time of deep depression. 

After my family would go to bed I had trouble sleeping and would go to the computer and seek to fill the empty time.  I played FreeCell.  For hours I would play this computer card game that is a variation on the old game of solitaire.  I spent so much time that I became quite good.  Leaning toward my OCD nature I began keeping score.  I won 63 games in a row!  This was quite exciting until I looked around and realized I was sitting in a dark room at 4 am all alone.  I had accomplished something that was absolutely worthless.  It had no significance for this life or the next.  In fact, I was embarrassed and reluctant to share my glorious achievement. Why would anyone want to brag about the many hours thrown away on something totally useless?  I only share it now, after all these years to try to make a meaningful point.  

Life is a precious gift.  It is fragile and fleeting.    James 4:14 describes our life on earth as “a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes”.  My mother only lived 68 years, which seems younger as I approach that age myself, but she lived life fully.  She left us with a legacy of laughter, love and joy for life and I realized how much I was wasting that legacy while honing my skill as a FreeCell player. 

The first real sermon I preached in a church used the text from John 10:10 where Jesus said, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”  Sitting alone in a dark room staring at computer screen until the wee hours of the morning does not constitute an abundant life.  This was my wake-up call.  I want my days on this planet to be meaningful.   I don’t need to waste time perusing or worrying about things that have no eternal significance.  I am 63 years old.  My grandmother had 98 years of life while my mother had 68.  I do not know that I have tomorrow but I have today!  I have right now!

What can I do today, this moment that will have real and lasting meaning?  How can I make the most of this moment?  My father had a plaque on his desk that said, ‘For every moment you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness’.  It was his reminder that it was important to do all one can to fill each moment with happiness.  Let the angry, disappointing, discouraging moments go as quickly as possible and focus on happiness.  Forgive and forget as soon as you can.  Jesus tells to go to the person who has something against us as quickly as possible to make things right (Matthew 5:23-24).  True worship (communion with God) cannot occur when we are at odds with our fellowman. 

Life is too short to waste on things that do not have real or eternal value.  

Come to think of it the only thing in this life that has real or eternal value is relationships.  Your relationship with Jesus allows you to have eternal life.  Those who have a relationship with Him have the promise of eternal relationships as we are united in Heaven after we leave this life.  So stop spending (wasting) time being consumed with something that will not last.  Invest your time, thoughts and energy building growing loving relationships that will last forever.  

What's the Difference?

This morning began like most mornings.  Before getting out of bed I expressed thanks to my Lord for the day.  I do not know what will happen but the fact that I woke up is a gift and it means the day has something which God has for me.  So, I prayed, "Thy will be done".  That is how Jesus taught me to pray in Matthew 6:10.  Then I had my morning exercise.  If I wake up face down I do a push up to get out of bed.  If I wake up on my back I do a sit up to get out of bed.  Now that the morning exercise routine is complete we will see what the day holds and what God's plan for the day may be.

My car would not crank.  OK, God, how does this fit into your will for my life today?  When things don't go as planned God seems to have a cute way of reminding me of another verse.  I Thessalonians 5:18 tells me to, "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus".  Well, I am thankful my truck cranked and I have jumper cables to crank my car.  I am thankful I have time and money to get a new battery this morning.  Living a life of thanksgiving in all circumstances following God's will is really the best way to live (remember this sentence).  Just keep reading for the "rest of the story".

The young man (it seems that most of them are young to me now...go figure) who was replacing my battery and I began chatting.  When he asked, "What do you do?", the conversation became more serious and God's direction for me this day started to become more clear.  This young man needed some spiritual guidance in his life so my dead battery led to a divine appointment. 

"How do you know the difference between love and lust?"  Although he was not yet thirty years old, poor relationship decisions had led disastrous results.   He wanted a family and lifetime companion that would bring happiness, joy and meaning to his live.  I told him how my wife and I had experienced this for the 34 years of our marriage, and expected it to carry us for the remainder of our days.  He was seeking what most are seeking.  So, here lies the lesson. 

The New Testament was written in Greek.  Our English language has one word to express the many feelings and emotions we call  love.  "I love ice cream, sunny days, the Bulldogs (insert your favorite sports team, I graduated from Miss. State), sleeping late and I love my wife."  Hopefully, one has different levels of feeling and emotion over those and other items we claim to love.  The Greek language has several words expressing those feelings and emotions.  The Bible focuses on three to teach us how we should love one another and how God loves us. 

EROS is the word that describes the physical attraction that garners powerful feelings.  We get our word 'erotic' from Eros.  Physical attraction is usually the way we begin romantic relationships.  "Wow, she/he looks great!"  "I want to spend time with him/her."  These are the common thoughts that lead couples however, relationships solely on Eros stumble when the attraction fades or another attraction develops.

The second Greek word used in the Bible is PHILIA which is best understood as brotherly love.  The city of Philadelphia is known as the 'City of Brotherly Love'.  Philia love is the deep love of best friends who just love hanging out and being together. 

Finally, there is AGAPE.  This is the love God has for us.  Agape is not a feeling or emotion that is conditional upon looks, behavior or comes and goes.  Agape is a decision of the will to be committed no matter what!  I told the young man that years ago I told my wife, "If anyone quits on this deal it won't be me!"  That may not have seemed romantic to her at the time but that type of commitment is the foundation of lasting love. 

The secret is to combine all three.  When you have someone who is attractive to you and is your best friend to whom you have made a decision and commitment to love for the rest of your days, then you will know the difference between 'love and lust'.  Then you will know the joy of God's plan for your marriage and life.  Then you will also know His love for you.  He responded saying, "Wow that makes sense and puts it all together." 

My car cranked up with the new battery.  He seemed to have a clearer pathway for his future.  OK, Lord what's next?  Living a life of thanksgiving in all circumstances following God's will is really the best way to live!

What I Would Tell Me

I recently was part of a mission team comprised of 15 pastors from 4 different states ranging in age from late 20’s to early 60’s.  I was the one at the end of the early 60’s curve.  I share that to make a point later.  We served churches that differed in denomination, worship style and size.  So we were not only exposed to the different culture of the country we visited, we had a chance to get acquainted with different cultures within our own mix of various generations, worship and church experiences.   I found it interesting how I, as the oldest in the group, loved being ‘unplugged’ for much of the journey.  I still  view the internet and social media primarily as an interruption in my life and hope it is a fad that will pass in time. 

I enjoyed watching some of those ‘whipper-snappers’ desperately seeking any and every opportunity to gain a Wi-Fi signal.  One of the young guys, who constantly seemed to have phone in hand seeking social media connection, kept calling the team leader and lead translator by the wrong names.  It is funny how younger folks often don’t connect well in conversation forgetting names of those sitting across the table, because they have been so distracted by social media and how us older guys who avoid social media in favor of personal converse with those across the table still get the names wrong because we just are too old to remember.  I guess some of these things just balance themselves in the natural order of life. 

One of the young guys did ask what I thought was an interesting question; “If you, at your current age, could go back to give advice to yourself at age 35 what would you say?”  Wow, that got me thinking of all the things I have experienced and learned since I was thirty-five.  Would I have some great advice for that guy?  Then I was reminded of a poster I have in my office concerning advice; “Wise men don’t need it! Fools won’t heed it!”  I began to realize that my 35 year old self would probably tell this 61 year old me, in a respectful manner (because we both had mothers who taught us manners); “Thanks for your advice but that was your generation’s point of view.  We are going to be different!” 

Sadly, many our early thirties think that way.  However, as we get to our early sixties many of us realize that Solomon was right when he wisely wrote, “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” While we may have new gadgets and toys than the previous generation we still essentially repeat many of the same mistakes.  We still seem to be people who learn slowly and often by our own mistakes…if we learn.  

So what would I say to my 35 year old self?  I would not bore him with my experiences or advice.  I would point him to another whose advice, as a man in his early thirties, still carry life-changing meaning and eternal truth.  I would tell him to listen more closely and follow the advice of Jesus more completely.  In word and deed Jesus advised us to do as he did by living each day doing what God placed him on this planet to do.  This is the way to a fulfilled life with no regrets.  In fact he told us that his coming was to give us a full and abundant life (John 10:10).  He counsels us to place our desires, feelings and personal agenda aside to be a servant.  He directs us to walk away from a lifestyle of submission to selfish appetites, destructive thoughts and action to a life of purity, harmony and love with God and fellowman. 

By age 35 I had already read the entire Bible and would recommend continual study and reading. But, I would tell my 35 year old self to pay closer attention and follow the teachings and lifestyle of that man also in his early thirties.  All the necessary teachings and actions of Jesus can be found in the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.  One can easily learn and follow those teachings by daily reading, meditating and applying what is revealed and learned every day.  Even my 35 year old self, who struggled with math, could calculate that there are 89 total chapters in those four books so reading only three chapters a day would allow one to read all four gospels in a month.  The slow reading pace of my 35 year old self could read 3 chapters in less than 30 minutes.  Missing 30 minutes of a TV show will never rival what you gain by reading and internalizing the teachings of Jesus for half an hour a day.  After all, I would say to my 35 year old self, those same Andy Griffith shows will still be running when you are my age! 

I would also tell my 35 year old self that his memory will not be as sharp as he gets older so it would be a good practice to read and re-read these truths so they become ingrained as a lifestyle.  A regular practice of this pattern of reading would allow one to read them 12 times in a year.  By the time he is my age he will have read the gospels over 300 times.  Wow, how that could change a life! 

Well, we may not be able to go back and give ourselves good advice or counsel but it is not too late to follow the counsel of the one who still gives us eternal guidance.  Let’s see what he has to say for today; hmmm, Matthew chapters one through three says…

So God Made a Pastor

Recently a Super Bowl commercial received rave reviews showing wonderful pictures while to a recording of Paul Harvey reciting a poem honoring farmers.  I was very moved by the poem and the reading by Paul Harvey.  My grandfather was a farmer.  I will always have special memories of my time as a child helping with the chores (as least he let me think I was helping).  That work ethic still guides me today as a minister.  The poem stayed with me and I penned the following as a way to honor my peers who work long and hard following God’s call as a pastor.  So with apologies to Mr. Harvey;

And Jesus founded his church on the recognition and confession of him as the Messiah and savior of all who place faith in him.  He sacrificed himself on the cross taking on man’s rightful punishment for sin.  He rose from the grave conquering death, sin and the grave and ascended to Heaven interceding on our behalf to this day.  Looking from Heaven he saw the struggles of his church and said, "I need a caretaker!” So, God made a pastor!

God said I need somebody to get up before dawn and pray for my church and work all day studying, preparing sermons and stay late visiting people in their homes, hospitals and community, eat supper and then go to meetings and other visits whenever needed to give guidance and comfort. So, God made a pastor!

God said I need somebody with strength. Strong enough to let people lean on him when their lives are falling apart, yet gentle enough to hold and bless a newborn baby and celebrate life with first time parents. Somebody sturdy enough to boldly speak up when sitting quietly may be more popular, able to face cantankerous troublemakers with steadfastness and then forgive their misdeeds, gossip or slander, able to skip a meal and wear a worn out suit and give his food to a needy person or clothe a poor person and tell them he’s ok and glad to do it because they need it more than him...and mean it. So, God made a pastor!

God said "I need somebody that can answer questions that confound the wise, give hope to those who seem to have lost everything, bring peace to unimaginable conflict, restore faith in those who have given up. And...who, at Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and other special holiday times and seasons, will finish his forty hour week by Wednesday noon. Then, worn out from mental, physical and emotional fatigue, put in another seventy two hours. So, God made a pastor!

God had to have somebody willing to cancel his own day off or personal respite when there was a death, sickness or spiritual need yet stop everything to make certain he did not neglect his family when others called on him so regularly. So, God made a pastor!

God said, "I need someone old enough to have experience and maturity, wise as Solomon and yet young enough to have energy to play softball with the teenagers and chase with the children and jump rope with the girls...and who will stop everything for an hour to help a widow change her tire. So, God made a pastor!

It had to be somebody who'd do the right thing...even when no one was watching. Somebody to study late, study early, pray long and hard...and do without so others could have more. Somebody to look after those who were alone and then finish a hard days work with one more visit. Somebody who'd keep his family together with the soft strong bonds of sharing God’s grace, patience and love, who'd laugh and then sigh and hang in there when most would want to give up...and then respond with smiling eyes, when his Heavenly Father says “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share my happiness!'". So, God made a pastor!

 

Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.

My high school graduating class is celebrating a class milestone.  The ‘class of 70’ is turning 60.  My life's journey has taken me away from my home town in Mississippi as I now have lived away longer than I lived there.  I look forward to the return for several reasons. Growing up in Columbus in the 60’s, for me, was like Opie growing up in Mayberry. It seemed such an innocent time. I could walk the streets alone, as a child, and be safe. We knew our neighbors, their children and classmates (if not intimately well enough to wave or speak in passing and to look out for one another). Oh sure things were not perfect. There were injustices. Some have been defeated over the years; others remain present or have evolved into different issues over time. Evil and injustice has been present throughout history. However, for me, it seemed such a simple wonderful time and place to grow up. As I prepare to return my mind is stirred with many memories. At age 60 memory can be tricky. I think it was Mark Twain (if not he it sounds like something he would say) who said he had arrived at a place in life when he could remember things that never happened.


Celebrating 60 years of life should be a time to look back and learn from experiences and memories. I am first reminded that life is fragile. Psalm 144:4 tells us that, "Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow".  There are classmates who will be absent because they did not live to celebrate 60 years of life. I remember Ricky, my best friend from 1st grade through High School. He had the greatest imagination, was as a very talented artist and one of the most gifted musicians I have known. I’m glad for the memories of all the creative things we did growing up and still miss hearing him play. I remember attending the funeral of Alan & Bill with most of my classmates. For most of us this was the first funeral we attended that was one of us, not a grandparent or older person. We often teased Arnold about riding a moped when many were driving cars to school. Most didn’t know the moped was because his seizures prevented him from obtaining a license to drive a car. In fact, many did not know of his struggle until a massive seizure took him away from us. I think of Dobert (most friends called Diane by her last name) calling me asking to ride home from college as we usually went home every Friday. I can’t remember why I would be delayed as I told her she could ride with me the next day. That was the last time we spoke as she drove alone in her own car. She never made it to Columbus but arrived in heaven that fateful weekend. There are others I and fellow classmates could name. Many reading this who are not classmates from Lee High’s class of ’70 will not know those names but all have similar memories.

What is the best way to handle such memories? I honor and cherish the memories of those with whom I was privileged to call a friend as my life was enhanced by them. It is good to look back and cherish memories. We are reminded that life is truly fleeting, fragile and precious. It is vital to make the most of each moment. We never know when our last words with someone will truly be the last words. Therefore our words should always be positive and pleasant. There is never a reason to harbor anger or ill will. We never know when or if we will see one another again in this life.

I look forward to sharing memories of 60 years of life with former high school classmates. I cherish the memories of friends. More than anything else I want to make the most of each day and each relationship. Randy Pausch, author of ‘The Last Lecture’, said, “We don’t beat the reaper by living longer. We beat the reaper by living well and living fully.” Colonel Jack Jacobs who was famous for being direct said, “I believe in getting the most out of life because I am going to be dead a long time.” While I like the sentiment of both of those quotes Jesus put it best in the text I used in the first sermon I preached over 30 years ago from John 10:10 when he said, “I came so that everyone would have life, and have it in its fullest.” If I have learned and can share anything worthwhile over these 60 years, it is that life is indeed fragile, precious and fleeting. Therefore it is wise and best to follow the purpose of Jesus in life. We make the most of each day fulfilling His purpose for our lives and living for Him, forgiving and loving others as He forgives and loves us. Happy Birthday class of ’70!

Eat Your Bread With Gladness

Two months ago today I had my 60th birthday. I would have thought that this milestone would be significant but so far there has not been much change. The accommodations to aging started some time ago. Reacting to my obsessive compulsive tendencies I made a list of all of my physical ailments that are on the increase due to age, but I can’t seem to remember where I placed it. Anyway, as one grows older it is expected that one would grow wiser. As I hopefully move toward becoming a wise ‘old’ sage, I look back and wonder if I have picked up any wisdom in these years. It seems that the older I get the more I seem to question and wonder about. So, I have learned to yield to one much older and wiser.

Thousands of years ago a man who had the wisdom, resources and ability to search and seek every avenue of life for answers wrote a book about his journey looking for answers to the best way to live. Ecclesiastes is the search for meaning and answers to life’s questions by one who not only had the wisdom, wealth, power and desire to seek every avenue of meaning and purpose in life. As I read his conclusions I am left with the following three conclusions.

One: It is not good to be alone. People, not things, are life’s most important pleasures. In my 60 years I have had the pleasure to travel to many parts of this world and meet people from all walks of life. I have discovered that people are truly the crowning glory of God’s creation. Jesus told us that all the commandments could be summed up as we love God with all our heart, soul and mind and love our neighbor as our self. Oh sure, there are some neighbors that are harder to love than others. But, if we will work on truly getting to know our neighbors and showing them love we will often find that we have opened the door to one of life’s greatest treasures. So spend your days developing, maintaining and growing relationships with the people around you. This is one of the greatest ways to invest your life.

Two: Accept pain as part of this life. This may not be as much fun as the first lesson but it is essential to finding meaning and purpose in your existence. Ecclesiastes names many hurts, injustices and instances of pain that we will experience as part of this life. We need to accept the reality that we live in a world that has been scarred by sin. Injustice and pain are part of this world. I often told my children, when they would gripe about things not being ‘fair’; “The only place you will find ‘fairness’ in this life is in the dictionary!” (Thankfully they still love me). We are prone to seek to avoid pain with pills, alcohol or rebellious behavior (all of which often lead to more pain). One cannot avoid pain and live. Dead people are the only ones who truly feel no pain. God may allow and often use pain to teach. Hebrews 2:10 tells us that pain was used to teach and make Jesus perfect. Pain is often the sign that change is needed. As I write this a friend is undergoing a medical procedure due to pain. They finally realized the pain is an indication of a life change that is necessary. When pain comes it is important to discern if the pain is due to the sin scarred world in which we live or do I need to ask “Is there something God may be teaching or saying to me in this situation?”

Three: Make the most of each moment! As the author of Ecclesiastes indicates, I have learned that life does not consist of great events as much as everyday moments. Life is lived best by laughing & finding joy in each moment. Rabbi Harold Kushner, in his book ‘When All You’ve Ever Wanted Wasn’t Isn’t Enough’, writes of an interview with an elderly woman who reflected on her long life and said, “If I had to live my life over, I would dare to make more mistakes next time. I would relax. I would be sillier. I would take things less seriously. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. You see I am one of those people who lived seriously and sanely hour after hour, day after day, who never went anyplace without a thermometer, hot water bottle, raincoat or parachute. If I had it to do over again, I’d travel lighter.”

Long before I became 60 preached my first sermon on John 10:10 where Jesus said, “I came that they may have life and have it more abundantly”. I learned the best life places faith in Him remembering the importance of loving and enjoying the people I meet, learning and making the best of the difficult times while I enjoy making the most of each moment. So, as one who is still working to be a wise old sage, I borrow from my predecessor in Ecclesiastes as I “go and eat my bread with gladness” as well as my ‘sister’ who taught me to “eat more ice cream and less beans”! Have fun!

My Father Used To Say...

One cannot help nor do anything about the family one is born into.  I was fortunate.  I began life in a home where I was blessed with a loving mother and father who nurtured me and gave me the example of what a healthy, loving and mature life should be.  This time of year always serves as a reminder for my great appreciation to Jack and Dot Drees.  Father’s day is just a few days away.  On June 14, 1997 my mother, after spending Saturday with Dad and his family, decided to end the day by giving her husband of nearly fifty years his Father’s day card.  She handed him the card telling him she wanted to give it to him early.  As he read the card she said, “I have a sharp pain in my head!”  Those were her last words as she collapsed and died from a massive cerebral hemorrhage.  Two years ago on May 18 Daddy joined her in Heaven.  I will always be indebted to them as they gave me a loving home that served as a foundation teaching me to live a life of responsibility, maturity, faith, love and laughter.  I remain grateful and seek to continue following, learning, and sharing from their example until we are together again in Heaven.

Years ago I ran across three sentences describing the growing understanding and perspective of a child and father.  They are; “My Dad can whip your Dad!”, followed by, “My ‘old man’ don’t know nothing!” then, “My father used to say!” I love this concise description of the way a child sees his dad (or parent) initially as that most powerful force capable of ‘whipping’ or handling any situation.  Then there are often the years when one goes through a time when immaturity produces an over-inflated ego leading one to the mistaken opinion that one knows more than anyone else about life (those with teenagers, who have raised teenagers or were teenagers should understand).  Finally, if/when one moves past that disillusion of their ego they realize the wisdom of those who sought to lay a helpful foundation for their life.  Real wisdom is not created as much as it is learned and passed on. 

My Dad had a unique way of making points that still guide me in life.  Some of those points were made by example.  I always knew my mother, my sister and I were more important to him than any job, amount of money or social standing.  When I first read I Thessalonians 4:11-12 I thought my father could have written this as he lived and taught me “to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”  I grew up in a home where we loved, laughed and lived a life of responsibility and quiet dignity. 

There were other points made by things "my father used to say" that will remain in my life and heart for the rest of my days.  I still remember him teaching me the importance of providing for my family (a teaching I also found in I Timothy 5:8) as Dad said, “Never be ashamed to do any job that will allow you to take care of your family.”  Not only is it important to work and provide but it is important to hang in there and never quit until/unless you have something better waiting.  "It is always easier to get a job when you have a job."  He taught me the importance of living within your means and avoiding unmanageable debt with the simple guides such as “Never have a monthly payment larger than a week’s pay.” Dad was not what one would describe as a profound theologian but I saw him live until his 84^th year with an unwavering faith.  When things seemed overwhelming and became difficult he would say, “Always trust God and things will work out in the end!”

Perhaps your memories are just as blessed, maybe more so.  Maybe there are not many pleasant memories as some have the misfortune of growing up in difficult situations.  As I stated just a few minutes ago, “one cannot help nor do anything about the family one is born into.  I was fortunate.”  While one cannot help the family one is born into, any life can be changed and transformed by being born into the family of God (Read John 1:12).  I have briefly shared a few things my earthly "father used to say” that helped shape me but when we place our faith in Jesus and follow him we will be eternally blessed as we follow the things our Heavenly Father “used to say”…and still says!