I Hate Death

A friend from my youth passed away this weekend.  Another was buried Monday.  That makes four deaths of guys from my high school and college days in the last four weeks.  Not to make light of the situation but I’m starting to understand why one of my former church members told me he got to the place in life where he began each day reading the obituaries and if he didn’t see his name listed, it was a good day.  While I always like to look for humor in every situation but there is nothing funny about death and funerals.  No matter the situation, whether the deceased was young or old, the passing sudden and unexpected or anticipated from a lengthy sickness; even among people of strong faith there is always a family or loved ones who are heartbroken.  There is no getting around the sadness of death. 

I hate death!  I always have.  I still remember my first experience with death.  I was in elementary school and Jim, my beloved German shepherd who was my companion and protector, was hit by a passing car.  He was gravely injured but managed to make it back to the back porch where my father told me that he was hurt too badly there was nothing we could do for him but be with him.  Although that was nearly 60 years ago I am still emotionally moved remembering Jim’s big brown eyes looking at me as I sat with him while he breathed his last.  

Since then I have experienced the loss of friends and family on many occasions.  As a minister I have been at the bedside with those passing from this life and tried to comfort their loved ones.  I have also had to be the calm in the emotional storm created by tragic accidental deaths.   While I did my best in each funeral or death experience, I never liked dealing with death.  I have hated death since it took Jim away from me as a child.  Although I offered and sought comfort from God’s word and the grace of Christ I still have always hated the separation that death caused. 

I don’t apologize for my hatred of death; in fact I am in good company with that emotion.  Jesus didn’t care for death either.  If you look you, as I have, you will find that he ruined every funeral he encountered.  He called Lazarus out of the grave, raised the widow’s son from Nain, as well as the daughter of Jairus.  Can you imagine the conversation of funeral directors when they heard Jesus was coming?  “Be sure to get them to sign the ‘no refund’ clause since Jesus is in town!”  He is the only person in history who ‘borrowed’ a tomb.  He didn’t need it very long, one weekend was enough. 

His encounter with the death of Lazarus in John 11 gives insight into the feelings he had for death.   John 11:33 & 38 describe Jesus as “deeply moved in spirit and troubled.” ‘Deeply moved’ comes from the Greek word, embrimáomai which means "to snort" – properly, snort like an angry horse; (literally) "snort (roar) with rage" which expresses strong indignation, i.e. deep feeling that is moved to sternly admonish. And ‘troubled’ is from the Greek, tarassō meaning; to agitate, trouble, cause one inward commotion, take away his calmness of mind, and disturb his composure. Jesus was clearly upset.  Verse 35 is the only time in the Bible where Jesus is described as weeping.  It is also the shortest verse in the Bible (hey, if you are going to memorize scripture you gotta start somewhere). So while Jesus was saddened with the death of his friend he was chiefly agitated and angry at death.  Jesus hated death.  He contrasted his purpose with the author of death in John 10:10; “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

An abundant life does not necessarily mean a long life.  A recent study showed that stubborn people actually lived longer.  I have known some people who lived a long time but spent most of that time being stubborn, angry, mean and bitter.  I heard it said about one person that they didn’t die but just ‘meaned’ away.  Randy Pausch, the author of The Last Lecture, said it this way, “We don't beat the reaper by living longer, we beat the reaper by living well and living fully." 

Subsequently the best way to live a full life is not found in the; “Me first, It’s my life and I’m looking out for #1, I’m going to do whatever I want to do” attitude that much of the world adopts.  That attitude actually causes the agony or ‘sting of death’ referred to in I Corinthians 15:56.  Death has a sting, which touches all sorts of persons, young and old, rich and poor, high and low, bond and free; it gives bitterness, agony, and misery as a poisonous and venomous sting.  And the only way to remove the venomous sting comes from following the life of Jesus.  He did not live long but look at what he did with his time on earth.  He loved everyone he met.  He forgave those who mistreated him.  He helped everyone who allowed him to do so.  Although he could have rightfully claimed superiority, he never put himself above others instead he humbly looked to serve everyone he encountered.  He never avoided God wanted him to do…even when it was difficult or caused personal suffering.  He then used the suffering he experienced to benefit those around him. 

So while it is ok to hate and be angry with death, don’t get stuck there.  What is the best way to deal with that emotion since death cannot be avoided?  Well, other than being more careful, I don’t want to go out too soon from doing something stupid…you do know the last words of a redneck are; “Hey y’all, watch this!”  I like to stick my finger in the eye of death by laughing and having as much fun each day as I can.  I try to live each day with gratitude, joy and love enjoying each breath of this fragile, precious and fleeting life as my revenge against death.  Follow the teaching and pattern of Jesus as you love everyone you encounter, forgive those who are hardest to love putting your feelings aside while you seek to do what God put you here at this moment to do!

The Invisible Man

In my youth I loved super hero comics.  I would imagine how great it would be to have super powers like The Flash, Batman or Superman.  Wow, think about what it would be like to run faster than the speed of light, leap tall buildings with a single bound, fly or catch a bullet in your teeth.  Well it has taken a lifetime but I have made it.  No, I can’t run as fast as The Flash or fly like Superman.  I don’t even look that great in blue leotards but that is another story.  

I have recently discovered that I have the same super powers as The Invisible Man.  Yes, that’s right; I can become invisible to those around me.  Let me give you a couple of recent examples.  I was in the grocery store and even without super human peripheral vision I noticed a woman rapidly approaching on my right side.  She was pushing her shopping cart right at me at a rapid pace.  Although I was right in her path to the lunch meat counter I realized that she did not see me.  At the last minute, to keep from being run over, I had to jump out of the way.  I thought she would then look at me and apologize but she never looked at me as she grabbed the desired processed meat that had her been the object of her full attention.  And that is when I realized I had moved into the world of super heroes.  I had become invisible!

My recently acquired super power not only works in the grocery store.  I have learned that I can transfer my power of invisibility to my car.  Batman may have the cool Batmobile but I can make myself and my car invisible.  I was recently approaching an intersection where I had the right-of-way.  There was a stop sign for the traffic on the road to my right and left so I enter the intersection at normal driving speed.  Suddenly I realize that the car entering the intersection on my right was not stopping.  My car and I had clearly become invisible.  I slammed on the brakes and gave my usual gesture before I truly realized my super power; you know the one where you throw up both hands indicating, “Did you not see me?”  In that moment I learned several things about my newly discovered super power.  First, I don’t need to use that gesture any longer since it is clear that I have truly become invisible.  Second, I can also transfer my power of invisibility to my car.  And finally, sort of like the way Kryptonite drains the powers of Superman, I learned that throwing up my hands giving the “Am I invisible?” gesture immediately removes the power of invisibility.  The other motorist saw me as soon as I gestured and gave me another universal gesture that cannot be used during the family hour. 

After much consideration of my new found super power of invisibility I began to realize that it may be more of a reflection on the current status of the human race than a super human power that I have developed.   To my disappointment I began to realize that I have not developed a new super power as much as we have moved into the ‘Selfie Age’.  We are living in a time where people are more concerned and consumed with themselves than any other time in history.  We take numerous pictures of ourselves when we used to take pictures of other people and other things.  We are often so focused and consumed with our feelings, our thoughts and our desires that the other people around us do, in fact, frequentlybecome invisible. 

This discovery frightened me because it is 180 degrees opposite from the way God intends us to live.   Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” God is telling us that the spiritually mature way to live is to consider those around you with love and compassion as you give their interests more concern than those of yourself. 

Whether we are talking about a family member, co-worker or stranger we may encounter in the store or on the highway the best way to live is to consider their interests above our own.  Take time to slow down and look at the people around you.  No matter how they may be dressed or act they, like you, are “fearfully and wonderfully made” according to Psalm 139:14.  When you slow down and consider everyone around you as a unique and wonderful creation of God you will never see anyone as invisible, irrelevant or unimportant.  I have to admit that it was a disappointment to discover that I had not really developed a super power.  However, I think I have discovered something more powerful.  When you take time to look for the ‘wonderfully made’ uniqueness of each person you encounter and you will be glad they are no longer invisible. In fact, you may discover that those around you can add quality to your life as you are enriched by being kind to one another and make new and wonderful relationships. 

There is no better time of the year than now to realize what George Bailey learned when Clarence told him, “Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.”  If you don’t know who or what I am talking about just watch "It's A Wonderful Life" during one of the many times it is shown on TV during the Christmas season.  All lives are important and connected, again as Clarence taught George Bailey; “Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?”

No one is meant to be invisible to his fellow man.  In fact, God created us to enrich the lives of those around us.  Why else would he make so many of us with everyone being a special and unique creation?  The more we focus on seeing, loving and caring for those around us as unique creations of the same God who loved and created us the more we will see them as He does and become more of who He created us to be…and that is really the greatest super power that anyone can have.  

It's Not Good To Be Alone

My next door neighbor is moving.  We have enjoyed being neighbors for 18 years.  I am sorry to see her move but I understand.  She is a widow and has no children.  She is at the time and age in life when she can no longer take care of herself and her home alone.  She has fallen a few times and is moving to a senior adult retirement community.  She is sad about moving from her home.  We hate to lose her as our next door neighbor but this is part of life.  We have tried to help her and take care of things for her as neighbors and since I have retired I am more available to help but she is lonely and will benefit from being in a community with people who are at the same stage in life and will be her new friends.  As we talked I was reminded of how we moved my father into our home and took care of him in his last days and are now taking care of my wife’s parents in their final years.  I am sorry to lose my good neighbor but since she has no family and not many in our neighborhood are in her age bracket she is lonely.  She will benefit from being in a community where she can make new friends who will be in her age group and will help one another as needed. 

I am reminded of Genesis 2:18 where God told Adam, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”  We are created to have relationships.  We are made in God’s image.  This is a triune God; Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  While we may have difficulty wrapping our finite minds around how God can be three distinctive persons in one, there is something we can understand.  God, being three persons in one, can have and enjoy relationships with Himself.  Wow, if we understand nothing else about the Trinity we need to understand the importance of relationships.  We are created and thrive on relationships with one another.  There is everything godly about building, growing and a positive network of relationships in this life.   Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us the importance of a growing network of companions, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” 

As we journey through life we discover that one of the most valuable assets we can obtain is that of positive relationships with family and friends.  It is vital, for many reasons, to develop and maintain a positive and growing network of relationships.  They may be family or friends that are as close if not closer than family.  I know of people who seem to have a talent for driving away family and friends.  They wind up sad and lonely.  As I referred to Genesis earlier, God tells us that it is not good for us to be alone.  Therefore it is wise and profitable to make every opportunity to make and maintain as many positive relationships as possible.  As I am writing this I received a phone call from someone seeking help for a church.  I know I am not the solution to their situation but because I have a friendship with another retired pastor I can easily recommend him for that situation. 

Just yesterday, I tried to contact a pastor with whom I recently served in a connected community to offer something that may be helpful in his ministry.  In my opinion he was one of those EGR folks (Extra Grace Required).  We have all met folks that seem to be intent on draining all the grace you may have in just being in the same room with them without strangling them.  Anyway, before I get too distracted, he never returned my phone call so he will never know if the information I wanted to share may help his life or ministry.  Hopefully as he gets older, like me, he will realize that keeping positive relationships, even with doofus guys like me, are helpful in many ways.  

God uses our relationships with others for His work and also to enhance our life.  One never knows when a connection with another human may become the link that God chooses to use for our mutual benefit and His glory.  Therefore as you go through life never take for granted the value of relationships with others.   Do all you can to grow, develop and maintain as many positive relationships as you go through your life.

One of the great advantages of being active in a church family is the power of relationships.   Counselors and medical professionals often speak of the importance of support groups for those encountering grief or difficult medical situations.  People who are active in a church already have a support group of their church family members who will walk with them in their difficult days.   

Hey, I realize that all of us may have family, neighbors or co-workers who are hard to get along with but we all benefit from forgiving one another’s shortcomings and trying to keep relationships positive.  You never know when we may need one another.  That is why it is vital to keep, maintain and grow as many positive relationships as you can in this life.  As I have shared previously, relationships are the only thing one takes from this life into eternity.  Your relationship with Jesus determines your eternal destiny and the relationships you form in this life with those who have trusted Jesus will continue through eternity.

As I was completing this writing this I received a call from a friend I have known since elementary school telling me of the death of two of my old friends from high school and college.  In my last blog I shared of making a sentimental journey back to my home town to reconnect with old friends.  I am especially glad now that I got to make these visits.  Don't delay visiting friends and family.  One never knows what tomorrow may bring.  Life is precious, fragile and fleeting.  

So as you go through your daily life seek to make, maintain and keep as many positive relationships as possible with family, friends and strangers as possible.  You never know when God may use those relationships to bless others or even you.  

See You Later!

The older I get the more I have become an emotional sap.  As one goes farther down the road of life one cannot help being touched by the emotions of life.  Life is filled with emotional events; birth, death, sickness, health, unexpected tragedy, miraculous recovery, gaining new friends and saying good bye to old friends and loved ones.  All of the above seem to have a cumulative effect…at least they have on me.  That may also be because as a pastor for nearly 40 years I have been with people as they celebrated the joys of positive emotional events of life and tried to comfort and console them as they experienced and tried to make sense of the most devastating times in life. 

Other than my faith in Christ, one of the things that helps keep me grounded is the foundation I received from my youth.  I grew up in a small town in Mississippi with what we call ‘small town Southern manners and virtues’.  I open doors for ladies.  I still say ‘please & thank you’ & ‘yes ma'am’ and ‘yes sir’ (even though at my age I am probably older than the one I am speaking to).   I was also blessed to be born with wonderful parents in a loving home.  Oh, I know that things were not perfect.  They never are in this sin-scarred world.  But it was close, at least in my memories.  That is why, although I have been gone from there for over 40 years and now I live 500 miles away, my heart always has a special place for my home and my roots. 

I recently made a trip home just to reconnect.  I have no longer have living relatives in my home town and had no real reason to make the trip other than nostalgia but at my time in live that is reason enough.  It was a bittersweet trip.  I stopped on the way to spend time with an aunt in Alabama.  The last time we were together I spoke at my uncle’s and her husband’s funeral.  We had a great time sharing laughs and memories as his uniqueness and memories will be with us for the rest of our lives.  On the way back home I stopped and visited with an uncle.  The last time I was with him I spoke at my aunt’s and his wife’s funeral.  We also shared laughs and memories as her uniqueness and memories will be with us for the rest of our lives.  If it sounds like there is a recurring theme here, hang on, there is. 

My time back in Columbus, MS was also a mixture of emotions.  As I drove around the town there were many changes.  Buildings and places had changed.  Many places from my youth were gone or in disrepair.  But memories flowed freely as I retraced familiar territory of my younger days.  I got to reconnect with friends, some I have known since 1^st grade.  We shared laughs and swapped stories…as best as we could remember.  Some of what we remember may have actually happened.  I also had a precious visit with a friend from my old neighborhood who is heroically battling pancreatic cancer and discovered an old college roommate is in the battle of his life with melanoma.   I am always reminded how precious, fragile and fleeting life can be.  That is why we need to make the most of each moment.

I visited our family plot in historic Friendship cemetery.  It is not far from the section of Civil War graves of both Union and Confederate soldiers.  My great grandfather who came here from Prussia, my grandfather, uncles and aunts and mom and dad are buried there.  My plot is also there.  I spent time cleaning each headstone and placing new flowers.  I know they are not there.  Mom and Dad have been in Heaven for a while but I feel closeness as I tend their graves.  I can’t help but get emotional.  I still miss talking, laughing and just enjoying being with them.  I have long known that it is important to cultivate and keep strong positive relationships with family and friends as we never know what may happen tomorrow and when will be the last time we will see one another.  There’s that recurring theme.

The relationships we make in this life are the only thing that is eternal.  Everything else decays and dies.  As I stated earlier, each time I go back to the places of my youth I see the changes and decay or the fact that some of those places no longer exist.  But the relationships I make are eternal.  Time with friends and family I may not get to see but every few years is always a joy.  We may not have seen each other for some time but immediately it seems like not a moment has passed as we pick up right where we left off.  Remember the importance of making and maintaining positive growing relationships as they are the only thing from this life that we carry into eternity.  Your relationship with Jesus determines your eternal destiny.  Your friends and family who also trust Jesus for their eternal destiny will all be reunited forever.  Nothing else you may know, say or do in this life is more important than that realization. 

That understanding also taught me that our relationship with Jesus is the only thing that truly turns the sadness of life around.  At one time I thought saying good-bye to family and friends was difficult for me…especially when it was that final good-bye.  Now I never say ‘good-bye’.  I always say “See you later.”  That may not sound like a significant matter but it finally dawned on me (it took a while but I was never a rapid learner), believers never really say good-bye because if we never see one another again in this world we will see each other soon in Heaven where all the sadness, sickness and sorrow of this world will be gone!  That will be the best reunion and it will never end!  Therefore, make certain you have an eternal relationship with Jesus.  Then share that love and truth daily as you cultivate and maintain positive relationships each day of your life.  That is all that lasts in this life and the next.  So, I look forward to the next time we can get together but if for some reason we are not able to see one another or get together again in this life…”See you later!”

Get Real

For nearly 40 years as a pastor I spent hours each day reading, doing research and studying to prepare sermons and Bible studies.  That was my primary work.  And for me, it was work.  Study never came easy for me.  Although, I have earned 4 diplomas and completed some 23 years of formal accredited education I never was never a good student.  I would rather play and have fun than study.  I still confess to that shortcoming (if having fun is a shortcoming). 

I graduated in the bottom third of my class in high school.  I was dead last in my college graduating class.  There is a great story that goes along with that unique accomplishment but that’s for another time.  Maybe we can get together sometime for coffee and I will disclose how that ‘distinction’ came about but for now let me get back on topic (see how easily I could get distracted in school).  I applied myself as a more serious student in seminary working toward my Master’s degree but I still graduated somewhere in the middle of the pack.  As I was nearing the end of my Doctoral work I had a conversation with a fellow student who was consumed with finishing first in the class.  I tried to help him relieve the anxiety and pressure he was placing on himself with this desire to finish first in the class as I told him that I was more interested in learning than my grade point average or being first in the class.  I asked him, “Do you know what they will call me if I graduate last in the class?  They will still refer to me as, Dr. Drees!”   

I share all that to say this; reading was never fun for me.  It was work.  It was part of the job.  It was something I had to do.  I never thought of reading for pleasure until now.  Now that I am retired I am enjoying reading fiction.  I am in the midst of a mystery by James Patterson entitled ‘Invisible’.  James Patterson had the largest selection of books in the ‘Large Print’ section of the library…man I hate getting old.  Anyway, it is about a serial killer being pursued by the FBI.  The fictitious killer dictates his activities and motives on tape so there will be a record when/if he is caught and he will be known.  He says, “I’m doing it because you think you know me, but you don’t.  You don’t know anybody really.  And I can prove it to you.  Just use yourself as an example.  You have thoughts that nobody else knows about, don’t you?  Thoughts that you haven’t shared with a single human being, not your best friend or sibling – nobody.  And sometimes it’s more than your thoughts.  It’s actions, things you do….you don’t share those thoughts because you’re afraid that your extremes will define you,...So you hide, you put on a mask.”

As I read that soliloquy from a fictional character I thought about the truth the author was conveying about all of us.  I thought about the times when a person that was assumed to be quiet and reserved went berserk and went on a killing spree.  The media seems to have no trouble finding neighbors, friends or family who say, “We are shocked.  We never knew this side of him.”  I thought about the times a faithful church member, or pastor, confessed or got caught in adultery, theft or some other shocking behavior that took everyone by surprise  It seems that all of us put on masks from time to time to hide things we don’t want others to know.  See you never knew how ‘dumb’ I was in school until today.    

We need to be reminded that God knows who we are behind the mask.  He knows the thoughts that we keep secret from the world.  Psalm 139 shows us just how much God knows about us.  Matthew 10:30 & Luke 12:7 remind us that he knows the number of hairs on our head.  As I get older and balder that is not as difficult but the point is that God knows who we really are down to our core…and He loves us anyway.  As you know from the first memory verse most of us learned, John 3:16, He loved us so much that He send and sacrificed His son, Jesus, for our salvation. 

You have probably heard many sermons from guys like me describing the different types of love in the Greek language.  Preachers who had to struggle through Greek classes, like me, try to show off our ‘knowledge’ whenever we can.  When possible we try to work in explanations of Greek words like Storge or familial love which refers to natural or instinctual affection, such as the love of a parent towards offspring and vice versa.  Another Greek term for love is Philia; from where we get Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love.  It is love between good friends.  Then there is Eros (from where get erotic) that describes physical attraction or desire.  Finally there is Agape, which is the type of love God has for us as it involves faithfulness, commitment, and an eternal act of the will not an emotion that comes and goes. 

For those, again like me, who struggled with Greek there is a simpler breakdown.  First there is ‘love if’.  I love you if… One can complete the sentence with any of the many requirements to earn this conditional love.  I love you if you will do this certain thing, look or act a certain way…etc.  Then there is ‘love because’.  I love you because you of the way you look or act, make me feel…etc.  Again, this love is conditional because it depends on the person.  The third type of love in this shorter analogy is ‘love in spite of’.  I know who you are, warts and all, and I love you in spite of your imperfections! As opposed to the first two which are conditional, this is unconditional love.  This is true love.  This is the way God loves us.  This is the way we should love one another. 

Unconditional love does not excuse or justify wrong thoughts or actions.  It overlooks them and loves anyway while cheering for us and helping us become better.  We can only open ourselves to unconditional love when we become totally honest with ourselves and others.  Honesty with ourselves means asking God to completely reveal any wrong or imperfection we are covering up as we pray the prayer from Psalm 139:23, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.”  When God reveals thoughts or actions that are wrong or offensive we then need to acknowledge them to ourselves and Him.  He will then forgive according to 1 John 1:9.  Then we need to repent as we change direction.  Repent in Hebrew is SHUB (yes, I had to study Hebrew as well so bear with me) which expresses a radical change of mind toward sin and implies a conscious separation from sin and decision to forsake it and agree with God.  In other words it means being honest with God, admitting our failings and agreeing with the way God sees us as we move from actions and thoughts we hide, cover up as we become spiritually mature, real and honest with God, others and ourselves.   

So today, I encourage you to begin removing the mask.  Become who God created you to be, not who you think will be accepted by others.  Any action or thought you want to keep hidden or would be ashamed of if discovered no longer needs to be in your life.  Acknowledge shortcomings to self and God.  Receive His forgiveness, grace and power to move in a different and more honest direction in your life.  You will find that the relationships you lose are those who had conditional ‘love’ for you and they are no great loss in your life.  On the contrary, you will learn that those who love you for ‘who you really are’ are trusted friends on whom you can depend and rejoice for the rest of your days.  So, be honest with yourself, with others and most of all with God.  It is truly the best way to live.  I leave you with this jewel of a thought from Theodor Seuss Geisel (most of you will better know him as Dr. Seuss) “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

Not Waving but Drowning

It was the morning after the famous comedian and actor Robin Williams had committed suicide.  I had just finished a morning meeting with my staff.  As I was returning to my office I stopped by my secretary’s desk to see if there were any messages I had missed while meeting with my staff.  She told me there was a man in the waiting area outside my office who said he needed to talk to a pastor.  One never knows what that means, often it is someone seeking financial help, but after doing this for many years you learn to keep an open mind and seek to help as you are able. 

By his appearance the man seemed clearly not to be a ‘street person’ seeking financial help.  He was middle-aged and well dressed.  I asked him to come into my office and have a seat as I inquired how I may be helpful to him.  He paused and stared at me and then said, “Suppose a person does something really really bad just before they die, will they go to Hell?” With the news of Robin Williams’ suicide so fresh I felt that I knew what he was asking.  I also knew I had to be careful in how I responded.   One never takes talk of suicide lightly.  People have often wondered if suicide is an unpardonable sin, because one cannot confess and receive forgiveness for that final act.  That assumption is theologically wrong for several reasons. 

First, while regular confession of sin is important as we continually need to acknowledge actions from which we need to repent, it is essential to remember that our sin was forgiven on the cross 2000 years ago.  Our profession of faith in that action and acceptance of His gift of salvation gives us forgiveness of all sin.  A person’s eternal destiny depends on our relationship with Jesus not on the last act we commit before we die, whether the final act is sinful or not.  When one is born again as a child of God one cannot lose their salvation or their status in the family of God.  The scriptures are clear on that matter.  Our faith in Christ, not our last action determines our eternal destiny.  One could utter a word of profanity in their last breath and that final sinful utterance would not affect the eternal destiny of a born again child of God.  The theologically correct answer is not always the most helpful one when someone is contemplating self-harm.   If I told him that he would not lose his salvation by taking his own life I might be giving him the permission he was seeking to harm himself.

I began a conversation to find out why he felt so discouraged and hopeless.  Then I began showing him reasons to live and ways to improve his attitude and situation.  To my relief he left the office with a different attitude.  As time went on I wondered how things turned out for the stranger who wandered into my office that day seeking permission to end his life.  Several months later I was delighted to see him sitting in the congregation with his wife. Both were enjoying a better life. 

I am reminded of two poems (yes, I did pay attention and remember some things from those literature classes).  The first is ‘Richard Corey’ by Edward Arlington Robinson;

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,

We people on the pavement looked at him:

He was a gentleman from sole to crown,

Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,

And he was always human when he talked;

But still he fluttered pulses when he said,

"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich—yes, richer than a king—

And admirably schooled in every grace:

In fine, we thought that he was everything

To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,

And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;

And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,

Went home and put a bullet through his head.

The second poem is entitled ‘Not Waving but Drowning ‘ by Stevie Smith;

Nobody heard him, the dead man,

But still he lay moaning:

I was much further out than you thought

And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking

And now he’s dead

It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,

They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always

(Still the dead one lay moaning)

I was much too far out all my life

And not waving but drowning.

Both poems and my experience with the visitor in my office that day cause me to reflect on how we rarely know the burdens that those we encounter every day may be carrying.  We need to be constantly sensitive to the actions and cries for help that may often be subtle or hidden but are around us every day.  People we envy, who seem to have it all together may be like Ricard Corey living lonely and despondent lives.  Others we encounter may be like the man who came to my office that day.  He really did not want to end his life.  Those who have made that fateful decision usually follow through without seeking permission.  He really wanted desperately for someone to know he was ‘not waving but drowning’. 

Seek to be aware of those you encounter.  They may feel that they have gone out too far in their life and are drowning.  They need rescuing encouragement rather than a polite courteous response.   A return wave may be a polite response but if the person is not waving but drowning they may need more.  It can become easy to get so caught up in your own self that you see and envy those who seem to ‘have it all’ wishing your life was like theirs all the while we can miss their cry for help as their life is not as ideal as we imagine.  Or we can become so busy and consumed with our own interests that others around us become invisible.  Never be in too much of a hurry to hear and respond to what people are really trying to communicate.  Don’t miss the opportunity to reach out and show love to anyone you encounter. 

If you are ever like Richard Corey and feel lost, hopeless and lonely don’t be afraid to talk to someone about your feelings.  Don’t ‘keep up appearances’ until you become too discouraged to go on.  It is never wrong or too late to let someone know you feel like you are drowning.  There is often a stigma in seeking help or counseling when, in fact, those who seek help are actually heathier.  All of us have problems from time to time that may seem to overwhelm us and cause us to feel as if we are drowning.  It is unhealthier to deny and suppress those feeling than to share them with someone who may be able to help you through the struggle.  When seeking help or referring others to help always consider what I call ‘the 3 C’s’ ; seek the help of someone who is a competent Christian counselor.  So whether you are discouraged, hopeless feeling as if you are drowning or if you need to be more sensitive to those you encounter remember the hope we all need to carry and share is Jesus.  As long as there is Christ there is hope. 

Never envy what someone else has.  Never give up on your own situation.  Never get so caught up in your life that you become unaware or insensitive to those around you.  We are all in this journey together.  Never be afraid to listen or share with others you encounter along the way.  Don’t worry about having all the answers.  None of us truly have it all together.  We all just need to know there are others who may be struggling along with us.  As D. T. Niles eloquently stated; "Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread" 

The End???

Here we go again.  Another ‘religious’ group has predicted the rapture will happen and they say it will be tomorrow.  The ‘rapture’ is the belief that the true followers of Jesus will bodily ascend to Heaven just before the tribulation and terrible events begin that lead to the end of this world as we know it.  Before you panic and begin overindulging on your favorite desserts as a last meal, remember this is not the first prediction.  In fact, over history many have tried to predict the end times according to various interpretations of scripture.  Obviously all have been wrong since we are still here and you are reading this (if you have not dozed off already). 

Rather than all these predictions made on obscure, misguided and wild interpretations of the scriptures I think it is best to look what the Bible does say clearly about the matter.  1 Thessalonians 5:1-4 says; “Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “There is peace and security,” then sudden destruction will come upon them as labor pains come upon a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you are not in darkness, brothers, for that day to surprise you like a thief.”  A thief in the night does not announce a time of his coming.  So the Bible is telling us not to worry about any prediction and don’t feel bad if it surprises you.  Believers will be surprised just as those ‘in darkness’ will also be surprised.  The rest of the chapter guides believers to live an honorable life being alert and aware of God’s teaching and encourage others to do the same.

Jesus is even clearer on the subject as He shared in Matthew 24:36 that no one has a clue on the timing except God in Heaven; “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only.” So according to Jesus, no one on earth or even the angels of heaven know when the end will come.  Consequently, according to Jesus, anyone who claims to know when the end is coming is wrong.  Jesus is clear about an ending of this sin-scarred world.  It will happen!  We are just not to know or worry about when.  He gives us many teachings and parables guiding us to live a life being prepared, watching, waiting and ready for that day. 

He also teaches in John 14 that he is going to prepare a room in Heaven for everyone who places faith in Him.  He will also come back and take us to our room in Heaven when our time on this earth ends.  So whether it is the end of ‘the’ world or the end of ‘your’ world, rest assured if you are a born again follower of Jesus, He is coming to take you to your eternal home in Heaven and it will be OK…well it will actually be more than OK; it will be great! 

So what does this all mean?  Well, if you are born again, you just need to make the most of each day with a joyful expectancy that when your life ends Jesus will come and escort you to a glorious eternal existence.  As John Wayne would say, “You can take that to the bank in Denver!”  I never really knew what that meant but when he said it in the movies it sounded like something you could count on.  Whether you like John Wayne or not, you can definitely trust what Jesus tells us in John 14!  So born again believers need to live each day knowing life on earth is fleeting, fragile and brief.  We never know when it may come to a sudden end for us, so we need to live each moment as if it could be our last. 

Let me close with two personal stories that I hope will make the point.  At seminary a couple of friends and I were pulling an all-night cram session for our Greek exam the next day.  As the night wore on and hopeless desperation creeped in, my buddies decided the best thing to do was to pray for Jesus (and the rapture) to come before the Greek exam.  I told them that my faith was not as strong as theirs so I was going to study while they prayed.  Living a life of expectation does not mean you ignore or shirk the responsibilities of giving your best in all you need to do each day.  The best way to live, as Jesus clearly taught, is to be ready but continue to live a full life doing your best while here on earth at each moment. 

The second personal story came at a time that precedes my seminary studies.  My theology was not as fully developed then but hang with the story because the end message is theologically sound and makes a good point.  A couple of guys who had been some of my closest friends as we grew up together contacted me.  After college we got jobs that took us in different directions.  We had not seen each other in quite a while and circumstances were going to allow us to all be in the same city for a day.  We decided to get together.  My buddies chose to meet at a well-known bar.  I didn’t drink but I wanted to see them and decided to have my drink of choice, Dr. Pepper.  I also knew that three was my limit.  Anyway, we were enjoying catching up with one another when I had this strange stirring and began to think, “What if the end of the world came right now and Jesus came for me.  I would hate for him to have to come in this bar to get me.”   Remember, there were some holes in my theology at that time but at least I was sure of my salvation and give me credit for being concerned about what Jesus would find me doing.  I told my buddies that I was enjoying our time together but I would wait and finish our visit outside.  I guess I thought the parking lot would be a better place to meet with Jesus than inside the bar. 

I asked you to hang with the story and if you have here is the point.  I doubt if the rapture will come tomorrow, as this latest group has predicted.  However, the end will come for all of us.  So the best thing to do, since we know it question is not ‘if’ but ‘when’, is to live a life where every moment of your day you are involved in an activity, attitude, relationship or location where you would not be ashamed but would be proud if Jesus suddenly showed up.  That means, as 1 Corinthians 10:31 teaches; “Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”  So, if Jesus shows up for all of us tomorrow (don’t hold your breath) or if He comes for you (or me) whenever it is time for our life on earth to end, I hope you will make every effort to be ready and always be found rejoicing in the abundant life He died for you to have and loving your fellowman as you love yourself.  So whatever happens I hope tomorrow is great for you!