A Little Happy

 Yesterday I had a medical procedure for which I had to be anesthetized.  All went well but since I was under anesthesia for the procedure Cathy had to drive me home.  On the way home she told me, “I made a new friend today.”  There was a young man in the waiting room with her.  While many will remain quiet and stay to themselves in those situations, Cathy will seem to tune in to those who may need a word of encouragement.  He was there while his mother was being treated at the same time as my procedure.  She began talking to the young man discovering that he was the only child of his widowed mother and felt a need to give him a ‘little happy’.  Next week we will celebrate our 42nd wedding anniversary.  Over these 40 plus years I have learned to expect her ‘making new friends’ in various situations and someone a ‘little happy’.

That term and practice of giving someone a ‘little happy’ originated with my mother who was a lot like my wife when it came to having a compassionate heart. Mother would often slip a $20 bill in her letters and cards.  These were the days before texts and email when people actually mailed letters and cards to loved ones.  She would also give her grandchildren a ‘little happy’ when visiting.  Cathy told me of her feeling the need to encourage the young man in the waiting room so she gave him the ‘little happy’.  I had given her my wallet before the procedure so she smiled and told me that I also gave him a ‘little happy’.   

The Bible tells us that each person who is born of the Spirit receives Spiritual gifts.  The gifts are identified in Romans 12, I Corinthians 12 and Ephesians 4.  A Spiritual gift is an extraordinary power or ability given by the Holy Spirit.  For example, I was given the Spiritual gift of prophecy or proclamation.  That is the only way to explain how a shy young man who sweated bullets through his required 3-minute speech in Mrs. Brewer’s high school speech class and later had a 40-year career preaching the gospel on 5 of the 7 continents.  I was always truly amazed at the end of each sermon that it had actually happened.  One can ‘sharpen the ax’ or improve the gift(s) but if God had not given me the gift, then all the speech, theology and preaching classes in the would not have produced the gift.  It is imperative for each of us to discover our gift(s) and put them to that special use serving God and helping our fellowman.  It is also important to allow the gifts to be practiced and used freely by those who possess each gift.  That is how God allows us to be His hands, feet and voice in this world.  We practice the gift but it comes from God. 

Now back to Cathy.  If one were to Google the Spiritual gifts of ‘Helps’ or ‘Mercy’ a picture of Cathy would pop up.  We all should seek to help and have mercy on others but the possessor of these gifts possesses a special certain God given ‘radar’ to see a need then apply mercy and help.  I learned this about her early on in our marriage as I was looking after to my new wife while she was in the hospital.  During our first year of marriage, she was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and irritable bowel syndrome.  Diagnosing these diseases required a series of unpleasant tests…as you can imagine.  After several days in the hospital undergoing a battery of unpleasant tests our oncologist came into the room making his early morning rounds saying, “How are you feeling today?”  She replied, “I’m OK but how are you?  You seem tired.”  He lowered his clipboard, took a breath, and replied; “I had a long and difficult night.  I lost a patient.  Thank you so much for asking!”  Although she was the patient, she was aware that her doctor needed some compassion and mercy after one of his patients died during the night. 

So, I have learned over these 42 years not to ask “who are you buying the muffins for?” when we are grocery shopping.  I didn’t notice the homeless person in the parking lot…but she did.  Or when she keeps the muffins or cookies in the grocery bag and has me stop at the home of the 94-year-old widow who lives up the street.  Or when she gets to the car and reaches in her purse or asks me for some cash, I realize I did not notice the ‘special needs’ young man with whom she talked with while he bagged our groceries.  Or recently when she bought $3 worth of tomatoes from the older man who was braving the dog days of South Carolina heat selling vegetables from his garden on the side of the road.  I gave her $20 and she came back with no change.  They all needed ‘a little happy’. 

Practicing her gifts of helps and mercy also gives her ‘a little happy’ from God.  There is no joy better than knowing you are doing what God placed you on this planet to do.  It also does me good and gives me ‘a little happy’ to see her helping and applying mercy to others.   One of Mother Teresa's favorite texts in the Bible, which she often quoted to support her ministry to the poor, is; "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." (Matthew 25:40).  Which, not surprisingly, is one of Cathy’s favorite verses as well. 

As you go about your life seek to discover that unique gift that God has given and blessed in your life and then freely practice being His voice, hands and feet.  We all have times when we can give or use ‘a little happy’!

The Big One

When we moved to the little village of Lugoff over 20 years ago I thought we could finish our work careers and retire here to a nice quiet life.  We were 30 minutes from Columbia, SC; the state capital, a city large enough to find most anything we wish to do.  We were in the middle of the small state of SC where we could drive a few hours to the north and enjoy the mountains, a few hours east for a Myrtle Beach getaway, or spend the same amount of time heading south for visits to Charleston (often listed as one of the top places to visit in the world), Hilton Head, or other beach island getaways.   Indeed, this seemed like a good place to settle.  Winters were mild and if you could tolerate the dog days of August, the summer was ok.  However, no one told me that we are right on top of a major earthquake fault line!

The first earthquake was December 27, 2021.  I was upstairs on the computer, as I am now.  I heard a loud boom, felt the house shake and thought someone drove a car into the house.  Since then, we have had 47 earthquakes in the last 6 months.  I have learned that this is called an ‘earthquake swarm’ and it is the most recorded quakes in the history of the state.  Many have been mild and not noticeable however June ended with a bang.  On June 26 at 1:31 am a magnitude 3.4 earthquake shook us from our sleep.  That was the strongest one yet…at that time.  The epicenter was about 4 miles from our house.  Not a good way to wake up.  Three days later, June 29 at 2:43 pm (you always remember the time), a 3.5 magnitude quake got our attention.  That was the strongest one yet…at that time!  Later that same day, 7:03 pm, we were shaken by a 3.6 magnitude earthquake.  That was the strongest one yet…so far!

Experts say that even though this is a historic ‘swarm’ it does not mean that the ‘big one’ is near.  However, those same experts admit that earthquakes cannot be predicted, only measured afterwards.  Thanks for the comforting information.  So much for settling into a quiet retirement in a small village. 

As a minister, I am used to questions.  Some are frivolous and fun such as, “Where did Cain get his wife?”  As you know the Bible teaches that the human race began with Adam & Eve who had two sons, Cain & Able.  Genesis 4:17 mentions Cain’s wife but there is no mention of who she is or where she came from.  So, the question, “Where did Cain get his wife?”  To which I love to reply, “I would tell you if I were Able!”  Some questions are obviously more serious and often affected by current events.  With the continued craziness of worldwide politics, violence and uncertainty in so many areas of life.  I am not surprised when often asked, “Are we living in the end times?”  To which, I fall back on all my years of study and theological training and shrug my shoulders.  Who knows?  Actually, that is the correct answer.  It’s the same one Jesus gave when asked the same question over 2000 years ago. 

The better way to live is not in fear of the unknown or unexpected but prepare for the day/time that the unknown or unexpected may happen.  That is done by living the best life loving your family, friends and fellowman each moment of each day.  That point was made to me in a very strong way 21 years ago as I was recovering from the first of two major surgeries needed to save my life.  Through a medical fluke (or divine providence) doctors discovered a large aneurysm leading to my right kidney and two leading to my left kidney and a rare renal artery disease.  Since an aneurysm killed my mother at the age of 68, the diagnosis got my attention.  I was told that I would need two separate surgeries because each surgery held the possibility of losing the kidney or other serious complications.  You can live with the loss of one kidney but not both.  The first surgery would be as soon as possible in June then I would need to recover well enough to have the second surgery in November.  The surgery was delicate and complex enough that I had to travel to another state for someone considered one of the best in the nation, possibly in the world for such surgeries.  That was step one in preparing for the unknown and unexpected.  Do all you can to be ready for any unexpected event.  In other words, be smart and buckle up!

Step two happened the night before the first surgery.  My family gathered with me in my room visited as long as possible.  We prayed together and they went to the motel for an early return the next morning for a long day in the waiting room for a surgery that would take at least 8 hours.  After they left, I was alone in the room and then I realized that I was not alone.  God promised several times in the Bible: “I will be with you always” and “I will never leave or forsake you!”  So, I decided to take advantage of those promises and have a visit with God…He didn’t have to observe visiting hours. 

I was 49 years old.  I told God that I would like to have a 50^th birthday…and more if possible but that was in His hands.  I thought of the things that I would still like to do.  However, if this was the ‘end times’ for me I realized that I had already lived a full and blessed life.  I was grateful for my wife and children and reviewed how blessed I was to have had them as well as the time with other family and friends.  After a good visit with just the two of us, since He had promised to stay with me always, I realized that although I had full confidence in my surgeon and his impressive credentials and ability; God would also be in the operating room with me.  The more we visited the calmer and more peaceful I felt.  After a while a nurse came and asked if I needed anything for anxiety to help me sleep.  Anxiety and sleeplessness were common before such serious life-threatening situations.  I smiled at her and told her, “No thank you, we are OK!”  She may have wondered about the “We” I was referring to but I think she knew. 

Obviously, I survived & had my 50^th birthday the next year.  Now 21 years later, after having my 70^th birthday, I continue to look back at my visit with Jesus the night before the first surgery.  I have a 25-inch scar around my expanding middle.  They used a total of 99 staples to close the incisions.  Why not go for 100?  The surgeon said I would have an area about the size of a small football below my ribcage & above my waist where I would no longer have any feeling because they would have to sever nerves that would not recover.  So, I have a legitimate excuse for not sucking in my belly.  But I am still here! 

All of this is to say whether it is a growing earthquake swarm, an unexpected medical condition, an accident or any unforeseen event; the best way to live in this uncertain world is to have a daily life of gratitude for the blessings we have and live each moment of each day with love for our family, friends and anyone else we encounter.  That is the best way to prepare for whatever, ‘The Big One’ may be!

 

 

25,550 days and counting...

In a few days I will have another one of those birthdays with a zero.  There are certain birthdays that seem to capture our attention more than others.  I remember my 15^th birthday because I could get my driver’s license learner’s permit.  I remember 18 because that meant that I could vote, get drafted & buy beer.  It wound up not being such a big deal.  I didn’t get drafted or buy beer however I voted in the presidential election for the first time in my life but the president I voted for is the only one in history to quit.  Oh well!  Other birthdays had some significance here and there.  I never really thought about getting older until I turned 50.  Living half a century got my attention.  This was my ‘wake-up call’ that my years of life were rapidly moving along.  Turning 65 was noteworthy because I qualified for Medicare.  But 70…there is a Psalm that deals with the 70^th birthday.  The 90^th Psalm is a prayer of Moses that’s probably the oldest Psalm in the Bible.  Moses lived long past 70, in fact the Bible tells us that Moses died at the age of 120.  However, he wrote in Psalm 90:10; “Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.’  This is an interesting observation for someone for whom 70 years is just a little past the halfway point in his life. 

It may have been that 70 for Moses was similar to my 50.  Perhaps this was the time when Moses first began to grasp how quickly life seems to pass.  Each of us has a point when we realize that our time on earth is brief and fleeting.  One day my grandmother put pen to paper and reflected on her life as she pondered memories, both good and bad, of her life.  She was known for her writing talent.  I inherited the writing bug from her.  My cousin compiled a collection of her writing in a book that her children and grandchildren continue to treasure.  Today I refer to this particular writing where she looked back at the life she had seen and experienced thinking, as did Moses, how even in the best times there is always trouble and sorrow.  She wrote about how she hated thinking of leaving this life.  She was a woman of great faith and knew Heaven waited but she felt impressed to speak of the blessings and difficulties she had seen and the loved ones she would miss.  She was 65 when she put her feelings on paper.  She didn’t know that she would live another 33 years until the age of 98 but this seemed to be a time of significance in the way she viewed life from that point on. 

Moses may have been at a similar place in his thoughts and observations about life.  A couple of verses later he declares the importance of knowing that our days of life are numbered.   Like it or not, there is a specific number of days to each life.  We don’t know the number of days we will live but each of us has a certain number of days to our life and then it will end.  I often have said that I would like to know the number of my days.  As I approach the last few days, I would do nothing but eat Oreos and ice cream.  Obviously, that is a foolish way to look at making the most of one’s last days.  It would be much wiser to spend those days enjoying time with loved ones. 

Moses states in verse 12, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”   A heart of wisdom comes from knowing that our days are numbered.  It matters not that we don’t know the number of our days.  Realizing that our number of days are limited should make us realize that we need to make the most of each day and not waste any time.  The days can’t be reclaimed once they pass.  Usually, we don't number our days; we number our years. When you have a birthday and someone asks how old you are, you tell them your age in the number of years. But true spiritual wisdom comes from numbering our days, because we live a day at a time.  We don’t know that we will have tomorrow but we know that we have today.  God has ordained that the entire universe functions a day at a time.  Jesus taught us to pray for God to, “Give us this day our daily bread" (Matt. 6:11).  

A heart of wisdom lives each day as if it could be the last…because it could be.  We may realize that our days are numbered but we don’t know when that last number/day will arrive.  It could be years from now or moments away.  Therefore, we need to treat each moment as precious, fragile and fleeting.  That means treating everyone we encounter each day in the same fashion.  We never know if this will be the last day we will have with them.  If You knew today would be the last day you would have with a loved one or friend, wouldn’t you make that day/moment as positive as possible?  Who would want to have their last day with anyone as a day of anger or frustration?  So, since we don’t know the number of our last day, or that of anyone else, a heart of wisdom leads us to make the most of every opportunity to make the day as happy and pleasant as possible.  A heart of wisdom treats each day and each person we encounter that day as cherished and valued. 

As I approach my 25,550^th day (70 years x 365 days…I may be a product of the Mississippi public school system but I can still do basic multiplication), I am going to try my best to make the most of each day.  Wouldn’t the world be better if we all did that?  A heart of wisdom teaches me to love, appreciate and treasure each moment and each person I encounter as I number each precious day.  

“I just wish something would make sense in these crazy times.”

I was winding up another visit with one of my growing number of doctors.  I have found the old saying, “Growing old ain’t for sissies” to be very true in my case.  I now am under the regular care of 6 different doctors, one for primary care and 5 different specialists.  But that is not the point.  They all know of my former profession and when my medical condition is good (which it has been lately…thankfully) we often drift into conversations about life, theology and current world events.  The particular doctor, after pronouncing me healthy in his area of medical expertise, moved into the previously mentioned group of topics by saying; “I just wish something would make sense in these crazy times.”

We discussed such things as the misinformation that seems to continue to grow concerning medicine and certain illnesses.  We talked about how disease and misfortune often unfairly affect and ruin lives of people who have tried to live healthy and moral lives.  I shared with him that I told my daughters this phrase to help deal with life that can be and is often not fair; “The only place you will find fairness in this life is in the dictionary.”   Things are going to happen that are not right and don’t seem fair no matter where you look.  However, that does not mean that one cannot try to do their best in this ‘sin-scarred’ world.  Where else are you going to live?

Once again history sees a mad man assume supreme power and control of a country only to oppress his own countrymen and dangerously wage war on other countries simply to enhance his own power mad ego.  It is just crazy.  We also have a woman who will most likely be the next Supreme Court justice when asked, “Can you provide a definition for the word ’woman’?  After a short back-and-forth, she ultimately said: “No, I can’t.”  Wow, I wanted to call and say, “I may not know much but I can solve that puzzle!”  Anyway, these are a few topics that led to the discussion concerning his frustration with living in a “crazy” where it is increasingly difficult to make sense of anything. 

I told my doctor that there have always been crazy times when it seems difficult to ‘just find something that would make sense’.  I grew up in a time and place where people were murdered for having a different skin color.  Others were killed simply for trying to help disenfranchised people gain equal rights as other citizens.  And in many if not most of those situations the murderers were never charged with a crime.   It still does not make sense.  Many years ago, a man who was known for his unusual gift and capacity for wisdom searched for some sense in his “crazy times”.  He wrote a book about his search beginning with three brief sentences; “Nothing makes sense! Everything is nonsense. I have seen it all—nothing makes sense!”  In addition to his unusual gift for wisdom he obviously knew how to get to his point quickly. 

He not only had a reputation for having greater wisdom than most anyone in any time in history, he also had wealth and power to seek and search all sorts of ways to find meaning in ‘crazy times’.  He tried to make sense of things first by increasing his knowledge and wisdom, then satisfying his physical appetites.  He built things to satisfy his ego.  He gained wealth and status as a world leader.  However, he found that all of these accomplishments did not bring real happiness, satisfaction or meaning to his existence.   

He came away with the following conclusions as the best way to find something that makes sense in crazy times.  First, he discovered the importance of having and making friends.  To do so one must treat people with compassion, kindness, respect.  It is important to learn and appreciate the differences we have rather than allow our differences to divide us.  No matter how crazy things get, it is always best to treat all people with common courtesy.  Also, having a growing number of friends helps any situation. 

The writer encourages young people to enjoy the days of their youth because they will pass quickly.  In fact, one of his recurring themes to people of all ages is to make the most of each moment and seek to enjoy your work, whatever it may be.  In the second chapter of his book he says, “The best you can do with your life is have a good time and get by the best you can. The way I see it, that’s it.”   In the third chapter of his book, he tells us; “I know the best thing we can do is to always enjoy life, because God’s gift to us is the happiness we get from our food and drink and from the work we do.”  A couple of chapters later he elaborates on this growing theme saying; “After looking at the way things are on this earth, here’s what I’ve decided is the best way to live: Take care of yourself, have a good time, and make the most of whatever job you have for as long as God gives you life. And that’s about it. That’s the human lot. Yes, we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what’s given and delighting in the work. It’s God’s gift! God deals out joy in the present, the now. It’s useless to brood over how long we might live.”  As one continues reading his book that describes his quest for meaning one sees the similar idea expressed as follows, “So I think we should get as much out of life as we possibly can. There is nothing better than to enjoy our food and drink and to have a good time. Then we can make it through this troublesome life that God has given us here on earth.”  Finally, the same nail is hammered more fully in the next chapter; “Seize life! Live with gusto, and a robust heart.  Oh yes—God takes pleasure in your pleasure!  Dress festively every morning.  Don’t skimp on colors and scarves.  Relish life with the spouse you love each and every day of your precarious life.  Each day is God’s gift. It’s what you get in exchange for the hard work of staying alive.  Make the most of each one!  Whatever turns up, grab it and do it. And do it heartily!  This is your last and only chance at it.”

OK! OK!  I think I get the point!  After trying most everything that a person can do in a lifelong search for meaning the writer has told us that with all his wealth, power, knowledge and wisdom he learned that while we may not be able to change many of the crazy things in this world; we can change and make sense of our lives by treating people with respect, courtesy and dignity as we make as many friends as possible and we should do all we can to enjoy every moment possible.  This is the best way to make sense of our existence in this world.  He closes by reminding us that everything that we do matters.  “Everything you were taught can be put into a few words:  Respect and obey God!  This is what life is all about.  God will judge everything we do, even what is done in secret, whether good or bad.” 

Alright.  Time is up.  If you have not guessed it by now, the writer of the book I have been describing and quoting is a King who lived several thousand years ago, named Solomon.  His book seeking and explaining the best way to look at finding ‘something that makes sense in these crazy times’ can be found between the book of Proverbs and the Song of Solomon in any Bible.  It is called Ecclesiastes.  I confess that I used several more modern translations to hopefully express his wisdom in a fashion that gave you a new look at his advice and helps you find ‘something that makes sense in these crazy times’.  Have a great day…and life!

Happy Birthday to the Class of 70

 I graduated from S.D. Lee High School in 1970.  This year I, along with most of my graduating class of 1970, will have our 70^th birthday.  The ‘Class of 70’ is turning 70.  Although I have precious memories and loved growing up in Columbus, MS; I rarely get back to my home town as my life's journey has taken me away and I have now lived more years away longer than I lived there.  All of my family members who lived in Columbus have passed away or have moved.  However, I still stay in touch with some classmates and friends who still live there.  Growing up in Columbus in the 60’s, for me, was like Opie growing up in Mayberry.  It seemed such an innocent time.  I could walk the streets alone, as a child, and be safe.  We knew our neighbors, their children and classmates (if we didn’t know them intimately, we knew them well enough to wave or speak in passing and to look out for one another).  Oh, sure things were not perfect. There were injustices.  Some have been defeated over the years; others remain present or have evolved into different issues over time.  Evil and injustice has been present throughout history. However, for me, it seemed such a simple wonderful time and place to grow up.  My mind is constantly stirred with many memories.  At age 70 memory can be tricky.  I think it was Mark Twain (if not, it sounds like something he would say) who said he had arrived at a place in life when he could remember things that never happened.

Celebrating 70 years of life should be a time to look back and learn from experiences and memories. I am first reminded that life is fragile.  Psalm 144:4 says; "Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow".  I remember classmates who did not live to celebrate 70 years of life.  I remember Ricky, my best friend from 1st grade through college.  He had the greatest imagination and was a very talented artist and one of the most gifted musicians I have known.  I’m glad for the memories of all the creative things we did growing up and still miss hearing him play.  I remember attending the funeral of Alan & Bill, whose lives were cut short in a tragic car wreck, with most of my classmates.  For most of us this was the first funeral we attended that was one of us, not a grandparent or older person.  We often teased Arnold about riding a moped when many of us were driving cars to school.  Most of us didn’t know the moped was because his seizures prevented him from obtaining a license to drive a car.  In fact, many did not know of his struggle until a massive seizure took him away from us.  I think of Dobert (most friends called Diane by her last name) calling me asking to ride home with me from college for the weekend.  I can’t remember why I was delayed that Friday as I told her she was welcome to ride home with me but I wasn’t leaving until Saturday morning. That was the last time we spoke as she drove alone in her own car.  She never made it to Columbus but arrived in heaven that fateful Friday.  There are others I and fellow classmates could name.  Many reading this who are not classmates from Lee High’s class of ’70 will not know those names but we all have similar memories of friends and family now gone.

What is the best way to handle such memories? I honor and cherish the memories of those with whom I was privileged to call a friend as my life was enhanced by them.  It is good to look back and cherish memories.  I am reminded that life is truly fleeting, fragile and precious.  It is vital to make the most of each moment.  We never know when our last words with someone will truly be the last words. Therefore, our words should always be kind, positive and pleasant.  There is never a reason to harbor anger or ill will.  We never know when or if we will see one another again in this life.

I cherish the memories of friends.  I want to continue to make wonderful memories with family and friends.  I want to make the most of each day and each relationship.  Randy Pausch, author of ‘The Last Lecture’, said; “We don’t beat the reaper by living longer. We beat the reaper by living well and living fully.”  Colonel Jack Jacobs, who was famous for being direct with his words, said; “I believe in getting the most out of life because I am going to be dead a long time.”  While I like the sentiment of both of those quotes, I think Jesus put it best in the text, I used in the first sermon I preached over 30 years ago from John 10:10, when he said; “I came so that everyone would have life, and have it in its fullest.” 

If I have learned and can share anything worthwhile over these 70 years, it is that life is indeed fragile, precious and fleeting.  This world will not always be kind.  There are tragic and sad events that will enter each of our lives at some point.  In learning to cope with the evil and injustice of this world I have found great comfort and guidance from the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi.  He wrote the letter while in prison.  He had not committed a crime, but was unjustly jailed because the powerful and influential leaders of the city did not like the message he was preaching.  Despite suffering injustice being jailed as he was only seeking to follow God’s plan for his life, he never expressed a feeling of anger at God, the unfairness of life or those who had wronged him.  He never wrote a word of discouragement or depression.  Remarkably he wrote only encouraging words that still are significant today.  Paul’s words from Philippians 4:12-13 encourage me daily as he wrote; “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Therefore, if I have gained any wisdom in nearly 70 years of life, I have learned that it is wise and best to follow the purpose of Jesus in life.  We make the most of each day fulfilling His purpose for our lives, forgiving and loving others as He forgives and loves us.  The best birthday present we can give ourselves and others is to make the most of each moment seeking joy happiness no matter what the situation may be while we love and cherish those around us.   

Happy 70^th Birthday class of ’70!

You Don't Need a Title

On this date, 26 years ago, a small group of young men waited to hear their name called in a public ceremony for the first time as; “Reverend Doctor _____”.  That public proclamation meant that each had satisfactorily completed several years of vigorous academic classwork, writing and projects to earn the Doctorate of Ministry degree.  Each candidate then walked across a stage, with proud family and friends in the audience, to have the Dean of the theological school place the Doctoral hood upon them.  I know about all of this because I was a member of that group.  However, I was not present for that public presentation.  While my group walked across the stage with the above-mentioned pageantry, I was walking in front of a group of solemn pallbearers carrying a casket to a grave at a small country church. 

I got the phone call late in the evening.  I had been a pastor long enough to know that those calls were not usually bringing good news.  The frantic voice of Mary (not her real name) exclaimed; “John (not his real name) had collapsed.  He is not conscious!  The EMS people are here now.”  I told her that I would be right over.  By the time I got there he was dead.  They had been married over 50 years.  He was a WW2 veteran, deacon in our church and they had been neighbors of my wife when she was a child.  I told her I would stay as long as she needed.  As we talked into the evening, she told me she wanted to have the funeral that weekend at the old country church where he grew up.  Of course, she wanted me to conduct the service and I told her I would consider it an honor.  There was no way I could tell her I actually had other plans for that weekend.  I went home and contacted all my family and told them to cancel their travel plans.  I would not be attending my graduation ceremony. 

I never was a much of a student until I entered seminary so, earning a legitimate doctoral degree was quite and achievement and a surprise for those who knew and remembered me from high school and college.  I was quiet and reserved in high school finishing in the middle of the class academically.  I guess you could say I majored in fun in college.  I had a great time and graduated on time but dead last in my class.  Anyone with lower grades than me did not graduate.  However, that is another story for another day.  I did not get serious about my education until I realized what I was going to do with my life.  A few years after earning my Master’s degree I entered the Doctor of Ministry program to increase my ability as a professional minister.  A friend advised me not to become egotistic with the title.  He said, “Don’t forget that no matter how many times you curl the tail it is still a pig!”  I learned to appreciate his humorous way to remind me to remain humble…but I am getting ahead of myself.    

There are those who seek the title for personal prestige or advancement.  I had a professional acquaintance (I didn’t really consider him a friend) who had a reputation for advancing his ego by any means necessary.  He was not worried about the ethics or legitimacy of what he did to promote himself.  He told me that he was getting a doctorate degree through an internet school.  He told me he would complete the work in less than a year.  A legitimate accredited doctoral degree is a graduate-level credential which is typically granted after multiple years of graduate school.  I told him that I never knew he had been to graduate school.  He told me that he had not but was getting on his “Mastorial and Doctorial” degrees at the same time with this internet school.  I guess there was not time for spelling or grammar since both degrees were being earned in a few short months through that internet website. 

I must confess that although I thought my decision to forgo the public ceremony and conduct the funeral for a long-time friend, deacon and veteran was the right decision, there was a part of me that did regret the opportunity to be publicly recognized in such a fashion in front of family and friends.  Then I saw an ad in a monthly publication where I could order a solid oak desk name plate with my name engraved saying “Dr. Bill Drees”.  It also had a laser engraved eagle with one of my favorite verses, Isaiah 40:31; “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”   I thought I deserve some recognition for all my hard work so I ordered it.  When the package arrived I excitedly opened it to see the laser engraved name…“Dr. Thomas Howard”.  They sent me the wrong one!!!!  I was immediately reminded to the phrase my friend had shared some time ago to keep me humble; “Don’t forget that no matter how many times you curl the tail it is still a pig!”  I realized that I may have then learned the greater lesson.  One does not need a title. 

We are all special and unique creations!  There has never been anyone like you in all of human history!  There will never be anyone quite like you in the future!  We have all been created intentionally with our unique personality, quirks, talents and gifts for our unique purpose.  We were also intentionally born in this unique time, family situation and geographical location for our individual and unique purpose.  Therefore, everyday we should be reminded how special and unique we are just because you are you!  Everyday is your time to accomplish the unique and individual purpose that you alone were created to achieve on this planet for this moment.   Some moments and achievements may bring great joy while some may not be pleasant but you have been given the opportunity and gifts to accomplish your purpose for being alive on this day.  No one can do it quite like you.  Don’t worry about titles, awards, recognition or what people may call you or think of you.  Rejoice in who you have been created to be and go forward doing what you have been uniquely created and placed here to do with joy.  Trust me in this…after all, I AM a doctor!

Each Relationship is Unique

 The S.D. Lee High Class of 1970 had another reunion this past weekend.  I made my reservation early and planned to go.  However, I did not get to attend due to a health issue.  Nothing terribly serious, at my age those things seem to happen.  Anyway, a good friend sent me pictures that allowed me to reminisce and review memories from those days when we were classmates 51 years ago.  Some faces were easy to remember, however I must admit that I had to get a magnifying glass to try to read the name tags for a few.  Life has changed all of us in many ways in this half-century since we were classmates.  The ups and downs in this world of unpredictability has a way of bringing change to all. 

My life’s journey moved me away and kept me distant from that special time and place in my life.  I have now lived away from my hometown nearly 5 decades longer than I lived there and I never lived closer than an 8-hour drive.  However, I will always treasure my time and the relationships I made in those special days.  My life was shaped by growing up and spending my first two decades of life in Columbus, MS.  The rhythm of life and the relationships I developed in those days were instrumental in molding me to be who I am today.  The older I become, and luckily, I am still becoming older, the more I realize the importance of relationships.  The relationships we make and keep shape our lives.  That’s why it is important to create and nurture as many positive relationships as possible.  Over the years I often proclaimed in sermons that relationships are the only thing from this life that we can take into eternity.  In fact, our faith and relationship with God determines our eternal destiny. 

I enjoy renewing old relationships and making new ones.  Years ago, I ran across the following poem with a unique perspective about relationships entitled To the World with Love (By Sue Stillwell): I open people just like Christmas presents; excitedly ripping away ribbons, tearing away the paper and lifting the lids off the boxes; and always a surprise awaits me.  Some of the people with the brightest ribbons and the shiniest wrappings are empty and hollow inside.  Some people with drab plain packaging hold the most glittering precious gifts and treasures inside of all.  And as with my Christmas presents some people I put away and never think about; and some I admire, look at and I don’t touch; some I put on pedestals – but they are fragile & usually break; and some become cherished and familiar to me through constant use. 

I thought she captured a great portrayal of how each person is a unique package.  We all have varied interactions with different people.  I was shy and timid and slower to make new friends in my high school years but have learned, in my many years of encountering people in various settings and locations, to be more open to meeting and getting to know people.  One never knows how an encounter may develop.  As I think Sue correctly stated some will surprise you and some will disappoint but you never really know what is inside until you open the package. 

So, don’t hesitate, as I did for too many years, to be open to new encounters.  I also have learned not to put too much stock into first impressions.  A surprise always awaits.  Some who originally seem attractive and appealing may be shallow and dull or selfish while others who initially may seem…well, not worth the time, may become precious and valuable friends for the rest of your days.   

The poem also gives valuable guidance about being careful whom we admire and put on pedestals.  We all can be frail and fragile so don’t be too devastated when those whom we have revered, esteemed and respected fail and disappoint us.  When friends and family fail me, I have learned to seek to forgive and forget as soon as possible.  It does no good to hold to ill will or hurt feelings.  However, as pointed out in the poem, there are some relationships that need to be put on the shelf and left there.  There are people in life that we may encounter, become close or even be related to who need to be kept at a distance because every time you take them ‘off the shelf’ or open them back into your life, trouble will always come with the package.  It is not bad or wrong to put and leave those ‘packages’ on the shelf and away from causing destruction and difficulty. 

As a compassionate person our heart may tell us that we can win them over and help them change their behavior.  Sometimes that may be true.  However, as I learned over many years of trying, some people will always be trouble and cause trouble.  Sadly, there are some people who remain difficult and troubled no matter how much loving people try to reach out to them.  They are a drowning person who doesn’t really want to be saved but will take the lifeguard down with them.  At some point you may have to push off and swim to shore while you still have the energy to make it yourself, prayerfully leaving them in God’s hands.  We are all in His hands anyway.  That can mean wonderful comfort or frightening judgement.  It ultimately depends on each person’s individual response. 

Years ago, I went to a conference to help ministers deal with people who continually cause trouble in the church.  The leader was a Lutheran minister with German ancestry.  I liked him because my great-grandfather was from Prussia.  But I also thought he was wise in his teaching.  He gave me a saying that I had mounted on my desk.  Every person who entered saw a German saying on the front side; Das Leben ist viel zu kurz um mit neidertrachtigen Menschen Umgang  zu haben.  The back side had the English translation that was my daily reminder; Life is much too short to be on visiting terms with mean people.

Put them on the shelf and enjoy opening the ‘packaging that hold the most glittering precious gifts and treasures.’  Treasure and cherish those gifts (relationships) with constant use.  They and you will be blessed and enriched.  So, make every day like Christmas, cheerfully opening new packages (relationships) making the most of the treasures inside and continue to cherish those who have been precious and special over the years.